wait, what? just blog

2006-05-25T07:04:00.000-04:00

Look at the pretty body under the arch...

"Dan , come here I have to show you something..."

That was the innocent line thrown at me yesterday around 10:30 at work by my boss. I get up and follow her into an office in our building that is directly across from the big huge ass arch that is the middle of the Boston Harbor Hotel.

"Look between the arch"

Scan the ground... "HELLO!"

Yeah, lying sprawled and splatted on the sidewalk between the arch and the water was a dead body. A man jumped from the Boston Harbor Hotel and met the ground 10 floors below. When I saw him, the police were just pulling up and covering him with a sheet. So I got to see the whole mangled mess. They covered him with the sheet and by the time they took the sheet off to take photos (not the tourists, the police) the whole top part was just covered in a huge mass of blood.

Within a minute basicaly every person on our floor was over on our side looking at the dead body. My friend Shelly opened the blinds in my bosses office and started waiving, "Maybe we'll be in the background of the forensic photo!" Can you imagine the investigators scanning the photo with a magnifying glass who finds this blonde head of a gorgeous girl waiving from 10 floors up and across the street? Funny.

My favorite line of comedy came from this woman on our floor Bonnie who said (and I'm not kidding you): "He looks really flat from here"

Spit take.

"He looks really flat from here" Bonnie I could kiss you but I won't.

Within a couple more minutes they had him in a gray hearse and off he went. A fire truck came and washed "the matter" from the sidewalk and took down the police tape, within an hour of the initial landing it was business as usual.

Later I realized that about 15 feet from where he landed there is an outdoor cafe/restaurant in the restaurant. Oh no, imagine having your huevos rancheros and that lands next to you! Good morning!

For Real?

2006-03-29T15:24:00.000-05:00

This was the cake they had today at work for the 1st quarter birthdays. I happen to fall into that category but that is beside the point.

Look at the cake. Notice the almost black dark blue icing that not only wraps around the top and bottom outside layers, it also hugs the middle. This black blue icing is the kind that makes you shit blue for a week and stains your teeth. Not a fan.

Notice the lovely decorated red blue and green squiggles. Is March the new 4th of July? I'm so confused and disturbed by this cake. Wow.

Shoot Out at the O-Gay Corral Pt. 2

2006-03-21T09:55:00.000-05:00

This is the scene I witnessed yesterday morning when I was walking to work... Granted, when I woke up at 6:30am at my house (just a block down) I heard helicopters and lots of sirens... I knew something was going on. I checked the news and nothing. A couple minutes later: "BREAKING NEWS" on Fox25. Two people have been shot at 470 Mass Ave. Um, hello - that's like a couple doors down - WHAT THE FUCK? I go on about my day.

As I'm leaving the house they have Mass Ave Northbound blocked off at Tremont so I cross the street to get to the train. I see about 6 News trucks and about 50 people blocking the sidewalk. I slam into a couple reporters trying to get them out of the way so I can go to work and realize that there is an abnormally high number of folks still on the sidewalk. It's been 2 hours folks move it along.

Then I look across the street at 470 only to see the dead body lying on the front steps of the brownstone. HELLO! Good Morning Mass Ave! I actually laughed out loud because I was sooooo not expecting to see that! I thought it was inside the building not right there on the front steps - don't know why... just did.

What's up with my neighborhood lately? I know that Boston's crime rate is rising and that the murder tally is higher than ever but this makes two shootings since last summer. Not pleased. To read about last summers Shoot Out at the O-Gay Corral - click here. I was however very pleased to later discover that this shooting, you know... the one with the man lying dead on the steps as I went to work was an act of domestic disturbance. An attempted murder-suicide of someone they know. I know its still bad, but that makes me much happier than thinking its some random shootout! Read on below...

On steps of brownstone, a grim scene of violence
Man shot girlfriend, then killed himself, police say
By John R. Ellement, Globe Staff | March 21, 2006

Gunfire rattled residents of a South End street early yesterday when a man shot his estranged girlfriend in the head as she left her building and then turned the gun on himself, police and witnesses said.

The man, whose name was also withheld, died, collapsing on the front steps of the Massachusetts Avenue brownstone where his body lay underneath a yellow tarp for about three hours until police and the medical examiner's office removed him. Police recovered a large revolver at the man's feet.

The scene disrupted traffic and startled passing pedestrians, commuters, and residents.

''It was really sad to see it," longtime neighbor David Pimenta said of the shooting and the aftermath, with the man's body remaining on the steps of the residence. ''This is my home."

Neighbors and residents said that the wounded woman lived in a second-floor unit at 470 Massachusetts Ave. and that she had changed the locks on her door last December, fearing a man known as Ronnie would return.

''I heard like two tires busting," resident Walter Jones said yesterday as he stood outside the building where the woman lives. ''I was trying to get out the door, and I saw a guy lying there and a woman; she was getting help" from authorities.

Dwayne Dunkley, a barber at A1 Barber around the corner on Tremont Street, said he knew the couple from the neighborhood and had last seen them about a week ago at the Massachusetts Avenue Silver Line stop.

''It seemed like they were getting back together . . . He was all bubbly, talking," said Dunkley, who added that the couple had started dating about eight months ago. ''She didn't seem too enthusiastic . . . She didn't seem to be into it."

Raymond Abraham, who lives above the woman's apartment, said that the woman feared the man he knew as Ronnie. ''She didn't want him to come here," he said. ''She changed the locks on her door so he couldn't come back around here."

In October, police removed a verbally abusive man named Ronald from the woman's apartment at her request, but no restraining order was sought in Boston Municipal Court, records show.

In a statement yesterday, police said that the investigation into the shooting was ongoing, but that ''there are indications that this is likely a domestic violence incident between two people."

The shooting occurred in a block of brownstones with a mix of condominiums and apartments between Columbus Avenue and Tremont Street.

Several residents described the building as a rooming house, where individuals rent rooms and share bathrooms. According to the city Licensing Board, the building is not licensed to operate as a rooming house.

Board chairman Daniel Pokaski said the board may order an investigation of the premises. If questions emerge, he said, ''we will have the owner in and find out what's going on."

A woman at the property who identified herself as the building owner but would not give her name, declined comment yesterday. Assessing records list the owner as Louise Lillian Martin.

Pimenta, who has lived across the street from the shooting scene for 17 years, said that the owner died last year and that her daughter has continued to manage the property. He said the building has a large amount of traffic, but has not caused problems for neighbors.

After the shooting, police closed the northbound lane of Massachusetts Avenue between Columbus Avenue and Tremont Street as they processed the scene. School buses, pedestrians, and dozens of commuters drove past as the body lay on the steps.

Police and the medical examiners office removed the body about 9:30 a.m., stationing MBTA buses on Massachusetts Avenue to shield their actions from news cameras across the street.

Because of the shooting, a community group, the United South End Settlements, planned to hold a meeting last night with police at the nearby Harriet Tubman House.

John Ellement can be reached at ellement@globe.com.

© Copyright 2006 Globe Newspaper Company.

Off to see a screening of NIGHT WATCH!

2006-02-22T17:28:00.000-05:00

I'll let you know all the vampire goodness when I get back!

APPLE STORE - BACK BAY!

2006-02-10T09:23:00.000-05:00

Apple is opening a store in downtown Boston finally! iFucking Yeah!

BANNED!

2006-01-25T10:00:00.000-05:00

I finally updated the 1st Official Ban of 2006!

I Soften... Good or Bad

2006-01-24T11:10:00.000-05:00

Okay I'll admit it, I slowly have a growing heart for children. Not that I would ever want one but since I've been around a baby since its birth I guess I have to admit that they are not as bad as I once thought. BeBe is quite possibly the damned cutest thing on earth and she is a hoot! Regardless, this was just setup to for the following and my intolerance for the heartbreak of it all.

In Mass yesterday a 27 year old woman and her 9 month old child were found murdered in their house. The husband is away "mysteriously" so right away we all suspect. But, today the family's website was released and I actually couldn't look at the whole site because there is a whole section just for the child and her pictures all the way through this Christmas and the heart-ache of this defenseless 9 month old being murdered forced me to turn away. I would never have normally turned away, but the recent photos of her happiness accompanied by the knowledge that she was just murdered made me pretty sick... I'm weaking. Is the heart not as black? Huh...

Now here's a reason to not put your kid online (if the husband didn't do it)

Happy Chrismahanukkawanza Y’all!

2005-12-24T18:28:00.000-05:00

Cruise's faith nutured at secret compound...

2005-12-20T12:46:00.000-05:00

... I first read that headline and thought it really said NUTURED, it was obviously this though... damn my mind:

Cruise's faith nurtured at secret compound

HOWARD STERN ENDS

2005-12-16T14:02:00.000-05:00

I was in the shower as they went to a break and up came the Stern crew singing their own rendition of “A Wonderful World” and I almost got teary. Each person, Artie, Gary, Fred, and Robin sang a heartfelt verse and it was actually touching. I’ve listened for a bazillion years and it is actually hitting me that I won’t laugh as hard each morning in return disrupting each and every staff member in my office. It’s over. They’re gone.

I watched on Yahoo as the staff did their speeches all the way through Howard boarding the Yahoo bus to Hard Rock Café for the free Sheryl Crow concert. Quite the production given there were multiple thousands of fans that showed up this morning to wish them well (seems like far more than they expected). I can only imagine what it was like down there with all the retards!

Right now I’m watching Sheryl Crow play live at Hard Rock and I have to admit as uncool of me as it is, I still love this woman! She’s 40 and looks amazing; she’s engaged to one of the best athletes ever and she loves her some Howard! Love her. The

Now comes my question to Sirius… why oh why is your walkman a $300 piece of equipment? Insane. I hope it comes down shortly or that they come out with another model that will be cheaper. XM has one for $100 so why can’t Sirius? I know, I know… the receivers for your car or house is so much cheaper, but I need to be able to listen while on my way to work and while at work! Get on it.

9 Days, No Heat!

2005-12-14T14:44:00.000-05:00

To give a little backstory, Jon and I have lived in our apartment for 4 years now. It’s a pretty good apartment in a good area and we pretty much love it… minus our building’s management company Greater Boston Properties. Avoid them at all costs, hell call them and tell them they blow… I would greatly appreciate the support.

In January 2003, we went away for a weekend to see The Producers on Broadway with Matthew Broderick and Nathan Lane, it was fun. We came home 3 days later to discover that our apartment had been without heat since we left. It was 50 degrees inside our 3rd and 4th floor apartment and our poor kitties had been stuck in that cold the whole time. I was Tyra on “Top Model” screaming like I’d never yelled at a girl before. The pipes in the building froze, burst and left its inhabitants without heat and they’d done nothing to remedy the situation and there was no resolution in sight. We had to move into a hotel (that took kitties) for 4 days while they figured out the debacle. Ridiculous right? A hotel.

Boston’s Inspectional Services Department was called and placed on the case. We got heat, but no final resolution. Inspector Holmes (not kidding) was great and got us heat as soon as he could and we were able to withhold rent, time taken off, and be reimbursed for our hotel time. It was great! He’s was our friend and we came to think of him fondly.

Every year that we’ve lived there, we’ve also had major heating issues with our 4th floor (which is where our bedroom is and where the office is – we tend to be up there a lot). Each season when the building’s heat comes on, the upstairs refuses to cooperate until they come and blow the lines and then they have to come repeatedly about once a month until Spring because the system just refuses to stay going. The second year we had the issue they discovered a problem with a sensor or a part within our actual baseboards (hot water) and they’d need to replace the part. Noone did.

Year 3, same issue, same number of times, same amount of time spent blowing lines every other week… no replacement part (requested by us numerous times to no avail), no solution.

That brings us to this season’s growing timeline of disgust.

SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER:
- Called GBP to let the new girl handling our building know about our previous heating issues and basically to scare her into not fucking with us this season; She seemed receptive as I began my pre-emptive, pre-season heating battle in plenty of time to get us heat for the upcoming winter months. The response was: “We’ll start working on it.”

OCTOBER:
- We contacted the owner/director/whatever to find out the resolution. We’re looking into it and I’m well aware of the problems faced in previous years… don’t worry.

- Building heat is turned on and we realize there is no heat to our upstairs (not surprisingly).

- Contact GBP and again reminded them of the previous 3 winters.

- No response, no visit, no nothing for a couple weeks.

NOVEMBER:
- Getting colder, still noones been out to look at or solve our heating issue. Contact GBP again, “We’re still looking at possibilities…”

- No response, no visit, no nothing… again…

- After multiple calls, we finally got someone to come out and blow my, er... the heating lines. Heat! Yet we know this is a temporary solution as in the past 3 years this hasn’t worked for more than a couple weeks at a time.

- Week before Thanksgiving, the upstairs heat stops again. No time to deal, we’re going away and to be frank, its not that cold up there yet.

DECEMBER:
- Called first thing about upstairs heat. No response.

- Woke up on December 6th to no heat upstairs and (wait for it) now downstairs is like an icebox as well. We’re without heat on both floors folks! Amazing isn’t it!

- Called at like 6:30am. No response.

- Called when I got to work… “The whole building is having an issue.” I ask to be called back shortly with an update. No response.

- Called again. Different person, different reasoning “Someone left the basement door open so that caused the system to fail. Someone is out there now.”

- Called again before I left that day because Jon told me that when he left at 6:45 that morning, all basement doors were shut. They lied again.

- I got home that night and there was miraculously heat on both floors!

- About 8pm that night, the downstairs heat stops. Upstairs is somehow still going strong.

- Call and leave message so that in the morning they can get right on it.

- Morning (Wednesday), no heat upstairs either!

- Leave another message. No response still.

- Hunt them down to get this response: “Apparently your unit was the only one having any trouble yesterday. Maybe by the end of the day we’ll know what’s going on.” Which pissed me off because yesterday the whole building was supposedly having issues.

- Called for update, noone could give me one and our buildings agent was not available. Left 2 messages.

- 4 hours later, still no call back. Still no heat. Still no resolution. Still fuming! Call back again and leave a rather scathing message noting how 4 hours is an unacceptable time to wait for a call back.

- Receive call within seconds (literally). No resolution. She will make sure someone’s still working on it. I got busy, 5pm came and went. No heat. No call back. No one came out. No nothing. Can’t reach them as its after business hours. 2 days without heat.

- Thursday morning call again. No response.

- Called again later in the day and got our “agent” who told me someone was on their way over there right now to resolve the issue “upstairs”. Um, UP AND DOWN RETARD! “Oh, didn’t realize. I’ll have to make sure the workers know that.” was the only response. Fucking brilliant!

- I got home at 5:30 and lo and behold someone was there! Jon was upstairs with him. The guy left and I assumed all was well in heatland. Jon informs me that the plumber/heating person did everything he knew how to and still no heat on either floor. He had to go out to Charlestown to get us space heaters (3 days late) and would be back later. Damn straight as these last 3 days have been the coldest so far this season in Boston.

- 7pm – no heaters.

- 8pm – no heaters

- 9pm – no heaters

- 10pm – no heaters

- 11pm – no heaters

- 11:45pm and I’m going to bed, are you serious!

- Friday morning I decide that I’m not even calling them. I want them to contact me for a change and give me an update.

- Jon wrote a letter to the head of our management company outlining the problem and the lack of response and willingness to come to a speedy resolution. He personally dropped it off on his way into work.

- NO RESPONSE!

- Blizzard hits.

- Work closes early and I trudge home to find 2 space heaters upstairs.

- Jon gets home after I leave to work at the theatre and discovers that only 1 heater actually works. Amazing.

- Saturday – no response, no visit, no nothing but cold.

- Sunday – no response, no visit, no nothing but cold.

- Monday – no response, no visit, no nothing but cold.

- Tuesday – no response, no visit, no nothing but cold and I am NOT CALLING THEM because this just gives us more ammo and backing with Inspectional Services.

- Tuesday night, its only 17 degrees outside. Damn cold and the apartment is starting to feel it.

- Wednesday morning. Cold in there. Jon called and left another message this morning and now we’re leaving it to the hands of Inspectional Services!

*Keep you posted on our non-progress!
_________________________________________

UPDATE (12/15 10:40am):
Jon just called GBP and talked to that twunt Becky who apparently got pissy when Jon told them that they're not replacing it until we can sit down and amend the lease to reflect a decrease in rent during the winter months because its in our lease that heat and hot water are included. SHE GOT PISSED: "Oh really" was her comment. Um, yeah... really! What a DB.

UPDATE (12/15 9:15am):
Last night the City of Boston was in our apartment checking out the heating situation. AT the time, he clocked the temperature in our apartment at 54 degrees. Cold much? Inspector Miller was great, cynical about the management company and determined to just fix it. He left them messages and awaited a call back while in our apartment. No response, so he left and said in the morning they would be officially served with legal documents and from the time they are served they have 24 hours to remedy the situation or its court time and major fines!

So, I'm getting ready for work this morning and there's a knock at the door. It's the electrician from GBP. He was there to look at our circuit board to see if its possible to put in electric baseboard heating throughout the apartment. Just fix it.

UPDATE (12/14 4:15pm):
The management company's official stance today is: "We're trying to replace the system so until then..." You're kidding me right? It's 20 degrees out in the sun and tonight is supposed to be in the single digits again but don't worry about it. I'm sure whenever you get around to getting a new system will be fine. Mind you, they've been trying to get a new system for 4 years. My new name is Nanook!

KONG = WEEPY

2005-12-14T14:43:00.000-05:00

From this picture alone I almost don't want to go because I know I'm going to be a blubbering mess. Hell, when I see the "Fix You" KONG Commercial I almost cry. Ugh...

NUTcracker at Work

2005-12-13T14:49:00.000-05:00

So our building today had a holiday luncheon for both 1 and 2 International Place. Free boxed lunch (mine was actually not disgusting for the 1st time in a year), drinks, cookies, and entertainment. This season, the Boston Ballet (II - not I) was performing dances from The Nutcracker. 2 observations...

1. If I took up ballet today, would I too have the abs and asses of steel these boys had? Boston Ballet offers adult classes, can you imagine my gay ass out there dancing the nutcracker suite? I had a hard enough time with Street Funk, how they hell am I going to prim-and-proper it across a stage in a onesy?

2. In the up-close light of day, Boston Ballet II does not use padding in the "dancers belt" because there was major ball smooshing and outlining happening - not the typical smooth bulge. In the light of day, its semi-disturbing to witness.

Who knew?

2005-12-13T14:47:00.000-05:00

The headline today read: Former President Ford hospitalized for tests

I didn't even know he was still alive. Is that drunk of an ex still kicking around? Are they still married? I assumed as she was an alchy, he would have dumped her but who can tell.

Good news folks, President Ford is ALIVE!

1st Official Oscar Ban of the Season is Coming…

2005-12-07T11:39:00.000-05:00

Check back this weekend for all the nonsensical reasoning!

If you think you know what it is, please post a comment. For previous bans, please click here!

.

J. Crew Stops Sale of Fur!

2005-12-01T12:54:00.000-05:00

About a month ago I started blasting people with boycott J. Crew emails because the one time cool clothier began selling Fur with their winter collection when it was announced 11 weeks ago. Since that day, Peta has been trying to kick their asses and I joined the fight quickly. Before you could chant your first verse of anger, jcruel.com was up and running!

I created these shirts on cafepress and they were removed. I received a copyright/trademark violation email from them. I had to finagle it but I got the shirts back on there just in time for J. Crew to stop selling fur (whine for me/ yeah for the announcement) which is amazing! After 11 weeks of protest, J. Crew annouced on November 30th that they will stop selling all fur products and have pledged to be fur-free going forward.

Some people bitch about Peta, but I love that their quick action (and possibly yours) helped force J.Crew to stop in such a short period of time. 11 weeks is amazing action folks, congrats!

Howard Stern to George Takai

2005-11-10T09:14:00.000-05:00

Howard Stern: Did you have sex in the internment camps?

Howard Stern: Are you a power bottom?

It was a fun interview and Howard once again proclaimed all rights to gays and lesbians. The interview was a hoot and we learned that Takai belongs to Frontrunners, the gay running club. Huh...

Election Day 2005

2005-11-08T16:03:00.000-05:00

It's been one year since that dreadful day in 2004... And again I'll be going to the polls! Today I cast a vote for Mayor Thomas Menino to stomp Maura Hennigan's JP ass into the ground!

My New Winter Coat!

2005-11-07T15:18:00.000-05:00

I was worried i would look like Missy Elliot, but I don't think that's a problem.

Howard Stern – What to do?

2005-11-07T15:15:00.000-05:00

I’ve been listening to Howard for a long time (and in three different states); I absolutely love him, Robin, Fred, Gary and Artie. I was never a huge fan of Jackie but have always enjoyed the show regardless of Jackie, Artie, Stuttering John, Richard Christie, or Sal. With only 24 shows left until he leaves terrestrial radio it’s really sad to think I could be in a position where I could no longer listen to this group of entertainers.

Anyone that has worked with me or near me knows that the Howard Stern show has brought me more joy each morning and provide my belly with more laughs than I could ever have imagined and for that to go away is a little depressing. Not like kill myself depressing, but melancholic. I still think I’m one of the only people that finds Robin’s laugh to be infectious – I love her and when she cackles, I cackle… It’s a nice connection. The end of an era, yadda yadda yadda.

When Howard’s film came out I was living in NC with my brother. We were like the first two in line to see it. When Howard left his wife it was hurt a little as we’d grown to understand their relationship and the love he had for her and his family… we felt privey to all the details and it hurt like a regular break-up does. I wouldn’t have known about September 11th if it wasn’t for Howard and Co. I was sitting at my desk listening when Gary came running into the studio and said a plane just flew into the World Trade Center. It was an amazing show and one that made me proud to be a listener. He dropped all scandalous pretense and became a reporter to the people – it was sad and sobering and within days he made us laugh again. I just cannot express how much listening to his show for half my life has meant to my morning sanity. It is a necessary move but one that saddens the masses nonetheless.

If anyone out there wants to know what to get me for Xmas, it’s either a Sirius walkman or a monthly subscription to Sirius so I can continue my obsession. For $.25 a day, I think its well worth the investment. Sticking it to the radio business and the FCC in even a slight way by moving over to Sirius would be grand; everyone should consider this with the holidays around the corner. I’m just saying.

Tearing up at the ‘Speed of Sound’

2005-11-07T15:14:00.000-05:00

So I’m sitting here sipping my Venti Chai Tea with two tea bags, a dash of vanilla and some Sugar in the Raw listening to Coldplay… Chris Martin hits the chorus of ‘Speed of Sound’ and I start to get teary. For real. The words are not sentimental or sad, the message somewhat somber but nothing to tear up at. In all honesty, his voice hitting those high notes is so incredibly pure and beautiful that it brought tears to my eyes. Tune in next week when I’ll be menstruating...

IKEA opens in 2 days!

2005-11-07T15:13:00.000-05:00

Finally, IKEA hits Boston! It’s only been coming to one location or another for the past 7 years – most of us never thought the day would actually come. We’d stop into the NJ store on the way back from the South or from Jersey. We’d stop at the New Haven store which opened a year or two ago because it was the closest, but it will now be in my backyard! I love that – especially because I have a couple hundred in gift cards to IKEA still sitting around – which are burning a hole in my pocket. You will be spent and soon…

Here’s my fear though… I used to love Target, was a huge fan and supporter of the store. They got whole paychecks of mine back in the day and once they did their mega Massachusetts blast, opening like 100 stores on one day, the novelty and quality of the store went downhill. It seriously now seems like a Wal-Mart to me, and I don’t go to Wal-Mart. I just hope IKEA doesn’t fall to that same problem.

I was Kevin Federline for Halloween

2005-10-31T15:19:00.000-05:00

If only his single had been out, you all could have called me "Daddy" instead of "KFed!"

Boston - Fall 2005's 1st Snow!

2005-10-29T16:48:00.000-04:00

It's snowing like a mutha out here today! I love it, I even put Xmas music on when I got home from frolicking in the beauty of white fluff!

Coolidge Web

2005-10-27T07:39:00.000-04:00

Sarah Bradley was the mastermind behind the web design! She must have been a sailor in a previous life... loves it!

Coolidge Halloween Decorations

2005-10-27T07:35:00.000-04:00

This past weekend we had a blast with the Halloween decorations at the theatre. Here are some pics from Sarah Bradley who will be enjoying Halloween in Iceland, maybe she'll go as Bjork... 'cause noone there would ever think of that...

Zombie March Pics

2005-10-27T07:33:00.000-04:00

Miami or Bust?

2005-10-18T13:03:00.000-04:00

Jon and I just returned from our trip to Miami! It's damn hot and sunny down there, which was like where you feel like you could melt because you're sitting on the sun sunny there... I wouldn't say that South Beach is somewhere I'd want to live because I'm not Cuban or a Hip Hop star or the heir to anything but it was great to visit and roam around for a couple days. The beaches are just amazingly clean and pretty and the water was so damn warm and blue and just so different than up here. Hell, I'd go in the water up here if it was half as warm or clear as it was down there! And the sand is just pure white so nice. I also think that if I went again I would at least rent a car for a day or two to get away from the South beach area and head north or even south to the everglades area. We almost went to Coral Gables, Coconut Grove area but decided against because it ended up being a rainy off and on day on Saturday - so more roaming around the insane streets of south beach.

We met (on Saturday) this old queen that used to be from NYC at the Starbucks. We were sitting on the porch outside looking at the ocean walk and just having tea because it was rainy and he and a friend were sitting next to us - they were garishly dressed in faboo richy in 5 years we'll be in Boca wear and talking Real Estate investments and antiques. Anyway he had some kind of tumor or something on his foot and it kinda looked like a club foot, it was freaky but the rest of him was normal... anyway... as Jon and I got up to walk away we got a good 20 feet and I hear... "Young Man" and Jon taps me on the shoulder. I figured I left my umbrella up there or my wallet fell out or something so I walk back and as I get closer, his smile gets bigger... "As you were walking away I checked out your legs... (devious smile)... and noticed that you have Keith Haring tatoos. Are you related?" I laughed and said NO explained that I liked his work... Turns out this guy used to be his neighbor in NYC before he died and how after he died his family trust came and threw out tons of his stuff including about 500 polariods that Haring took from around the world, some of him and friends, some of him, some of his work, yadda yadda yadda... so he took them from the trash and kept them. He tried about 10 years later to sell them but noone really wanted them (which is funny because there is a whole book collection just of his polariods) so when he moved to florida he threw them back out... he knew he did the dumbest thing but it was a fun story. Then he talked about some other Haring stuff, it was pretty cool to hear. He was very very very enamored with me and my love of Keith Haring - Jon was sure that if I lived there he could be my sugar daddy - I couldn't get past that club foot though...

The restaurants were damn good but so expensive.

The hotel was surprsingly nice! We were so pleased with the hotel. It's in South Beach but on Washington instead of Collins or Ocean so its a little quieter and not for the party people! I loved it! And the pool was great because lets face it, it was too sunny and hot to be in the middle of the beach for very long, so the pool was a nice change and noone but us used it the whole time we were there, so it was almost like having your own private pool area! I would recommend!

And I so don't get how South Beach is stereotyped as this big gay area. For real the South End here in Boston is more visibly and proudly gay than any part of Miami that we saw. I don't get the stereotype because it really was not gay at all. Maybe back in the day but not anymore. I mean the straight and foreign men are 1000 times more gay than the gays roaming around but who am I to judge...

And I got to see hottie Danny from "Without a Trace" twice and let me tell you, that man is fiiiiiiiiine!

Kickball Update!

2005-10-18T13:00:00.000-04:00

I'd just like to point out that we are currently in 4th place in our kickball league! We've won 3 games, tied 1 game, and lost 1 game. We had a rain out a couple weeks back so that makeup game is in 2 weeks. Our next two weeks will be the hardest as we square off against 2 teams that are either 1 above or 1 below us in ranking. We may lose ground but hopefully not!

Kicking and Screaming is kicking ass!

Look Kids... F*&k SH!T C@c&

2005-09-30T15:16:00.000-04:00

Look what the coolidge made the mistake of throwing up on their website. Notice what Saturday's Kids Program is!!! GENIUS!

Apple's Newest Ad

2005-09-26T18:13:00.000-04:00

created by Jillian Maryonovich
from the Operation Dreamland poster

If Joss Whedon Calls, I'm Not Here!

2005-09-26T12:17:00.000-04:00

I forgot to mention in my previous blog that while the geeks, er... Browncoats were lined up, Joss Whedon phoned the theatre to talk to me. Jillian took the call, informed him I was unavailable and took his number and a message. She then got on the Burger King microphone in our old ticket window which echoes through the alley where the throngs of Browncoats were anxiously waiting like Ty Pennington on a megaphone and informed me Joss had called, that it was J-O-S-S and his number was ... I snorted my drink, Browncoats knocked each other over and stabbed each other with pens as they tried to write down the digits... We all laughed and between you and me, I think one of the Browncoats left a little Brownsleeve on the sidewalk because he thought we were serious! "Mommy, I pooped my pants!"

"Firefly" Marathon

2005-09-26T10:20:00.000-04:00

So the Coolidge had a “Firefly” marathon this past weekend, showing all 14 episodes of the great show in preparation for the big screen version, Serenity which opens Friday the 30th! No, I didn’t have to work all night, nor did I have to stay all night with the crew of Browncoats that assembled before hand.

They began arriving Friday night at 11pm, too bad the marathon wasn’t until Saturday night! The six people that arrived first on Friday (one in a Serenity shirt) were very understanding and actually laughed at their retarded gaff. Then came a big fat semi-Hagrid-like man with a grocery bag full of goodies and a “Lost in Space” t-shirt. He bumbled into the lobby after studying the sign on the door clearly stating the marathon was Saturday; I don’t think the coke bottles on his eyes were working because he read that sign about 20 times… amp on up to telescopic buddy – those obviously are not working! He then came in and we confirmed his fears! He was pissed and bewildered. He left. Thirty seconds later he comes back in and starts screaming about how he called on Monday and the person he spoke with confirmed that the marathon was Saturday morning not Sunday morning at Midnight… stormed out again. That is quite possible because honestly some of the people at the theatre could get confused… some don’t know what all the states are or even which countries are which – love them all dearly but it’s true… He came back for another round to which none of us said a word because we now had all the lights in the theatre off and our bags ready; we just stared as he stomped and snickered and stormed out again. What the heck?

Then Saturday night we knew he would come back even though he basically said he’d never set foot in the place again – the power of Joss Whedon was obviously too strong because as Jillian and I were in Booksmith looking for the Martha Stewart Halloween book he came bumbling into the bookstore same outfit, same bag of body parts or glutton of food. We laughed, pointed, gave him a wedgie and left. Kidding, we just were hoping he wouldn’t kill us all because for real, he’s scary serial killer crazy.

About 150-175 people came for the 12 hour marathon which even included Chinese buffet. I’m sorry but Chinese food at 3 in the morning just sounds disgusting! Can you imagine crazy “Lost in Space” eating lo mein in a dark theatre? It’s seriously like Lecter eating intestines or something. The first set of what would eventually be a lot of female fans arrived and lined up about 9:30pm. For 2.5 hours, in an unseasonably cool evening the line grew and grew. A group of college kids came in wearing suits, each wearing blue rubber gloves, it was a bit creepy looking. Jillian with no shame at all (that’s why I love her) just blurts out… “What’s with the gloves?” In unison they chant “Two by Two gloves of blue…” Jillian just looks at me (as I’ve seen the show)… I had no fucking clue what Dungeons and Dragons were carrying on about. They went on to laugh at my obvious lack of geekdom and memorization of all things “Firefly” before getting in line outside. Um, okay… you’re the ones dressed up like funeral directors wearing blue gloves… and I’m the geek, right.

Oh then came Somerville Bus Lady who actually began to cry when she realized she would have to pay $15 for the marathon. See, originally it was going to be “donation” only – then they switched it because they were going to be getting a ton of overnight parking passes ($5 a pop) and the Chinese buffet… the donation became admission and you had to pay. She (of like 40 years old) honestly almost came to tears because she only has $5 to her name and she had to take the bus all the way from Somerville (a normal commute for anyone going anywhere in the city) and she loves “Firefly” and if she can’t see it she’ll just die and she doesn’t have enough to get back home on the bus… pathetic. Okay, granted it originally was listed as a donation but then was changed about a week or so in advance. She was allowed in for free in the end but I just thought her display was disgusting. She even began writing a check and as she’s filling it out said, “this will bounce anyway” to which Jillian said, “You know, twunt… if that bounces it’s going to cost like $50 not the $15 you could pay now…” Weeping, sobbing, hair pulling… she got in for free! Made me sick.

I’ve yet to talk to someone who stayed all night, but I would be intrigued to see how it went. Did anyone choke on lo mein? Did anyone break their neck in the back of the theatre because someone who shall remain nameless insisted the dim lights in back be turned off so that you honestly couldn’t see a thing. Jillian, your pratfall through the metal signs during the first episode (to illustrate a point) made my week! A true piece of comedy genius! I mean, isn’t that like a fire hazard or something? You couldn’t see a foot in front of you and there are 150 people camped out in there… not so safe but who am I to say?

SERENITY NOW!

Unbelievable Harry Potter "Goblet" Preview (click here)

2005-09-15T19:01:00.000-04:00

This morning, a brand new and almost orgasmic preview of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire was released. I cannot wait two months to see this installment, it looks amazing! The link above is for Quicktime.

Gay Marriage - Constitutional Convention Round 2 TODAY!

2005-09-14T11:35:00.000-04:00

Today the Massachusetts Constitutional Convention reconveens to try and ban gay marriage once again in Massachusetts. At 1pm today lawmakers will once again vote (as they did last year and won Round 1) to ban gay marriage. A vote to ban gay marriage today will then put the initiative on the ballot in 2006 allowing the people to vote which would then put into question the over 6,000 marriages performed and recognized today in Massachusetts. Early indications are that this time, the vote will not pass - that many of those who voted to ban marriage last year have changed their vote since. One can only hope. For more information click here.

I Got The Power - Wendy the Retard!

2005-09-08T08:12:00.000-04:00

So I almost fell out of the shower this morning when Howard Stern came back from commercial with a musical masterpiece. He mixed Wendy the Retard's call from last year when they lost power in Florida and she kept calling Howard and leaving voicemail messages saying "I need power... I need friggin power god damnit!" So they played the lovely late 80's dance genius by Snap with Wendy's voice screaming "I NEED POWER!" instead of "I GOT THE POWER" and it was fucking brilliant!!!!

PS - does anyone else think Wendy sounds like Timmy from South Park when she starts yelling? "WENDY!"

Kicking and Screaming - Kickball Begins!

2005-09-07T17:51:00.000-04:00

I haven’t really told many people, but Jon started a kickball team for the Minutemen Division of the World Adult Kickball Association (WAKA). I know, right? Kickball – are you fucking serious. Oh I am folks and I am damn good - you don’t know!

Our team is called KICKING AND SCREAMING and consists of 25 players – of which 24 have some association or relation (Leslie Ellis School and spouses or friends) and 1 outsider who hopefully won’t feel too out of place while I’m kicking some ass out on the field!

We play for 8 weeks in Somerville and then we have 2 weeks of playoffs. It’s going to be hysterical out there. This is not some group of spry 21 year olds, I would say our average age is a good 33 and most of us have not played a sport in 20 years if we’ve played one ever! But, we do have some super sporty guys. Andy is a footy player from the Outback. John K. currently plays on a softball league and I’m pretty sure Pete and one of the other John’s is uber-sporty – they’ll be the hard asses… I expect one if not all of them to defend my honor at some point this season. God knows my big mouth will more than likely cause one fracas.

I created a website for the team, so please head on over and check it out. Right now, there is not much content, but as the season kicks off tonight, there will be pictures and bios and stats and our team standing within the league so please come back for updates!

If you’d like to come see us play, please check out the schedule page for dates and times. There will also be directions to the field so you don’t get lost along the way!

Oh my god, I’m playing an organized sport.

Bush - Clinton Hurrican Relief

2005-09-05T10:48:00.000-04:00

So is it just me or do you find it funny that President Bush has to go to two former Presidents to plea for assistance with the Hurricane Katrina relief efforts? This makes the second time this year that Presidents Bush (Sr.) and Clinton (love ya) have joined forces to call on the global relief effort. Is this because Bushy knows he has a horrible reputation both stateside and internationally? Does he call upon his father and Clinton knowing they had better international relations because he's an ineffective communicator, fundraiser, leader, and humanitarian? Just thoughts...

Death Cab for Cutie - Plans

2005-08-31T09:32:00.000-04:00

I'll admit that I resisted the Death Cab taxi ride until a couple years ago. Though they've been around since 1997, they were always the it of it bands that I just never hailed and got into. Then one day I actually sat down and listened... wow, what a fucking idiot I was! DCFC is possibly one of the smartest and most emotionally in tune emo bands out there. They're mix of classic emo with progressive electonica type backbeats really sets them apart from the rest. Not to metion Ben is half responsible for The Postal Service which was easily my favorite album in the last two years.

The first single "Soul Meets Body" has a chorus that is straight out of Sunny Day Real Estate's plot of land. Ben's voice actually reaches Enigk proportions at times and if DCFC wants to play it that way, I'm even more into it as Sunny Day will always have a space in my heart.

Damn these kids are good.

Coolidge Update

2005-08-17T16:14:00.000-04:00

It is unbelievable how insanely bitchy some people can be. I’m not talking about the rude old ladies or the obnoxious rich bitch teens, I’m talking about the monster that is Jillian, Manager from Hell. Kidding. She wanted me to write more about the theatre on here but really I’ve nothing shocking or funny to say. Oh other than one of the girls sits like a baseball player on the bench whilst wearing skirts allowing the whole world to see her religion. Nice.

Why Not Another AIDS Ride?

2005-08-09T07:30:00.000-04:00

For three years I participated in numerous AIDS Rides and raised a good amount of money and hopefully awareness. This summer I chose to take a break from the cycling madness butt numbathon for a number of reasons.

Reason #1: As I was out of work for the end of 2004 it was hard to make a commitment to raising money for another ride when I couldn’t even pay my rent. As my financial status was up in the air I didn’t really think it would be a wise choice or one I could support to go around begging for donations again this summer when trying to survive on my good looks was running thin. In the past I’ve received excellent sponsorship and generosity from my family, friends, and coworkers. As the coworker portion was my most lucrative and that was now eliminated from the equation, I didn’t really feel confident that raising a couple thousand dollars without that base was feasible or worth my efforts as my enthusiasm for the Mass Red Ribbon Ride was dying.

Reason #2: When the details of the third annual Mass Red Ribbon Ride were announced, they had shortened the ride to a two day event and limited the miles considerably. One of the reasons I loved doing these rides was the challenge they presented me every year. It’s a good 6 month commitment of training properly and sufficiently to tackle those damn Western Mass Mountains and winding roads. Doing three days of non-stop riding is grueling and a challenge both mentally and physically. Each year I felt I trained better and harder because the rides were a little bit easier and I felt healthier at the end of each day. It was really hard for me to push myself to these extremes but I loved the challenge of it. With 2005 being the shortest yet it really presented no challenge to me and my interest faded.

My original goal was to join the Montreal to Boston ride that is also in August. My friend and fellow rider Brad had done this ride for two years and loved it. The 5 day ride of extreme hills and miles was what I needed to push me to new heights and I was ready! That was until I came to the realization that come the new year I was only temping and the prospect of a real job was slim to none before spring or summer so taking over a week off for a charity event didn’t seem like a wise choice. I had to bow out and it saddens me still to this day.

Reason #3: I applied to work as the Outreach Coordinator for the Mass Red Ribbon Ride because Robbie was eliminated when AIDS Action chose to combine positions and his interest in said new position was not so high. Obviously I did not get the job. I don’t think it was because of my abilities or my background because I obviously had demonstrated my dedication to the cause and to AIDS Action in the past. On top of the rides, I was a team leader and organizer for the Walk 5 years running – I was like the AIDS Action poster child. Regardless, they chose someone with more of a diverse background. Excellent reason considering they wanted a face of color to be out there reaching the affected cultures to gain support, my pasty white face is far from identifiable as “of color” so I totally understood but have to say I disagreed with the decision and quickly saw the misguided direction of the ride.

Reason #4: The Mass Red Ribbon Ride began targeting the wrong communities. I understand that their goal is to raise awareness around and to recruit within the affected cultures but unfortunately the money and sponsorship is not within those regions and money is what will make this ride succeed. The MR3 has barely grown in the three years since its inception. As of last count they were under 200 riders for 2005 which is insanely low for a ride in its junior year. Easily this ride should have pulled in 500 riders by now but I firmly believe that the “management” of the ride is incompetent and too focused on their representation within minority communities instead of on fundraising which is where the real power lies. AIDS Action needed to step back from its mission and goal as a company (cultural awareness and disease prevention) and allow the ride to focus on sponsorship, fundraising, and the community that was already invested in the cause. The gays love a good cause and they love to rally behind something affecting their people. There is a lot of money and passion in the gay community and the Mass Red Ribbon Ride has all but ignored them in recent years.

A couple hundred rideless riders rallied around AIDS Action in 2002 as the fallout from Pallotta left a gap in AIDS related charity rides. It seemed like a match made in heaven as AIDS Action was already synonymous with the Boston AIDS Walk, a multi-thousands participant event with big corporate sponsorship and dedication. How could it fail? They brought in past Pallotta riders (myself included) to help brainstorm and create their first multi-day ride (The AIDS Action Ride) to moderate success.

Year two they changed the name to the Mass Red Ribbon Ride and collaborated with numerous AIDS organizations across the state to help spread awareness and absorb the cost of putting on the event. I volunteered on committees and at bike shows, I trained like crazy and raised even more money than I had in the past- everything seemed on target to be bigger and better than the year before. As the ride neared, it was apparent that the ride had already taken a different direction.

AIDS Action seemed more hands off than ever and their contribution to the ride financially seemed to falter as well. I understood that they were going for a grassroots event that relied on collaboration and community involvement but somehow this ride was already being overshadowed by the new Harbor to the Bay ride being put on in part by Fenway Community Health Center and with heavy backing by Club Café (a huge gay club and institution in Boston). Their advertisements were sleek, slick, and plentiful. Their website was well designed and interactive. They already had some incredible sponsorship and they were in every media outlet in town. Their ride was getting all the press while I felt our ride was barely keeping its head above water and this was our second year.

Where were all the riders that once defected from Pallotta and vowed to make this ride a success? Sure there were plenty of us still in the mix but at a measly 125 riders, many of them were obviously moving on to other events. This angered me because I love AIDS Action and the people they employ and had personally given my all to promote and fundraise for this event.

As the ride began it was apparent that the sense of community had waned and that the new staff was just not on game like the year before. I don’t know if it was just a case of the sophomore slump or there were bigger problems at hand. I know that personally I didn’t feel as appreciated or as taken care of by the new ride manager, Andi. She has a very harsh and abrasive way about her that put a lot of riders off. At recruitment and informational events she would create this almost hippish prayer circle environment of sharing that not everyone was into. She just rubbed people the wrong way and her public speaking skills and ability to cause hysteria and excitement within the group just weren’t working.

As the ride commenced moral was all over the map. People were getting hurt, people were getting lost, people didn’t feel appreciated or welcome. By weekends end, she was one of the most talked about topics, almost more so than the heavy rain and winds that had plagued the ride since Day 1. I on numerous occasions had told her to ensure that the vegetarians were taken care of and she didn’t which resulted in a no lunch scenario two days in a row for us vegetarians. I don’t know about you, but if I’m riding a hundred miles a day, I tend to need some form of sustenance and nourishment, that usually comes from lunch. I’m just saying… She also ran around like a tyrant at night while at the camps as she would bark orders and mother everyone so much that they didn’t feel comfortable or able to freely enjoy the experience as the adults we are. Luckily there was Robbie to deflect her standoff persona. Robbie is an incredibly passionate man that really put his all into the first ride and in the second year seemed pushed back to allow for Andi’s new regime. Too bad Robbie already had a fan base.

The ride ended early because of hurricane like conditions that passed through the area which pushed the final nail into the coffin of MR3. Many seasoned riders wanted to wait out the storm and finish the ride like intended but ride organizers couldn’t comply. I understand the liability involved and understood their decision to cancel Day 3 but it really did sour the mood of the event further. A make up date was scheduled and went off with mediocre success (only 20 riders showed). A third year seemed unlikely in September but was eventually greenlit.

I had always planned on sticking it out another year but the aforementioned issues really forced me to reconsider. Even after I interviewed with Andi I wanted to help the ride flourish and grow into a bigger event. I eventually lost all interest in their mission. Of my group (which consisted of pimps and ho’s last year), only one rider signed up. I can’t state that the rides mismanagement is to blame for everyone, but it is for me. The new direction and shortened route just really didn’t appeal to me and that’s distressing because this was a ride I helped craft to some degree. It had the potential to be huge and because I don’t work at AIDS Action and I wasn’t there when negotiations were originally underway with Fenway Community Health I can’t say why it’s not bigger and better than it is. It could be budgetary issues, it could be management issues, or it could be that there are too many competing events. AIDS Action has a huge following and volunteer network not to mention they are the standard in AIDS awareness in Massachusetts yet the ride lacks the backing to promote like it needs to and to target where the fundraising will benefit most… the gay men of Boston.

As long as Harbor to the Bay can promise 100% of the funds raised to charity MR3 does not stand a chance. That’s a huge turn off for riders and contributors. Why should someone donate to MR3 knowing a portion of the funds goes to putting on the event when in the same town another ride is promising 100% to charity? The accountability isn’t there and the backing of the gay community just isn’t with MR3. This should have been the driving force for them this year; ensure the gay community stands behind the ride and that the seasoned riders return at any cost because that is what will allow this ride to grow and thrive! There is no reason that the corporate sponsors of AIDS Action couldn’t rally behind the ride to ensure no cost is put upon the riders or the donations raised. Competing rides is just ridiculous in a town the size of Boston. I believe next year there will only be one ride that survives and I have a feeling it will not be the Mass Red Ribbon Ride (though I hope I’m proven wrong because my heart and soul went into creating and promoting their event and I want to see them succeed).

Spiders, Skunks, and Stars Oh My

2005-08-09T07:24:00.001-04:00

Jon and I spent the weekend in the very green and very hilly state of Vermont for the wedding of our friends John and Jenn. I’d never been to Vermont before which seemed to shock people somewhat. I don’t know why; just because its part of New England doesn’t mean that I have to go there, right? I don’t ski and I don’t camp so what does VT have to offer me? And I’m talking dirt roads Vermont, like almost in Canada Vermont. Road signs switched from towns to countries where we were… Burlington 40, Canada 54. It’s a shock to the system.

What I will say about Vermont is that it is a very lush and foliage heavy state. It’s green as far as the eye can see. It’s really an untapped region which is shocking but refreshing. Just as you start yearning for a Starbucks or a sky scraper you realize how amazing it is that there is so much open and untouched land. The Eco-friendly in me kicks in and suddenly I’m willing to chain myself to a tree and stare down the evil men and machines of deforestation and development. What? Paul Bunyan much?

I forgot the reason I started this entry. Oh yeah, within two hours of being there we saw a skunk walk by us to which Jon and I ran like school girls and then a spider the size of an elephants foot which left me with an unsettling feeling. Nature is scary – plain and simple. But because we were so far removed from any city dwellings or even habitable land when darkness fell it was a pitch black night with more stars than I’ve ever experienced. Layer upon layers of millions of stars, it was quite remarkable to see. I also had the luck of seeing 3 shooting stars in our two nights stay in Vermont which as stupid as it sounds really makes you realize there’s a whole world we miss living in the city – bugs and all.

Potter Withdrawl

2005-08-09T07:24:00.000-04:00

For real I’m in like Hogwarts Depression, someone call Madame Pomfrey STAT! Since finishing the sixth book, I’ve not really wanted to leave that world and I’m hesitant to pick up another read. I think I am going to head out today at lunch and buy Book 4 and start from there, rereading 4-6 to sustain my Potter fix.

Book 4 is really where the story goes into Maximum Overdrive and you notice that the homeless woman gone gold really may be on to something. From the Tri-Wizard Tournament to death and eventually romance, the story just became more serious and dangerous in tone. Book 4 proved that she is willing to go over the edge and tackle the dark recesses of the Potter world and to not worry about scaring or alienating any of the wholesome and itty bitty readers. Book 4 is like a friggin tome with its hefty page count and plot development. After finishing Book 6 you realize how important Book 4 was in the whole lineage and I still think it may be my favorite so far.

I-MUST-GO-BACK-TO-HOGWARTS – DAMN YOU VOLDEMORT!

I'm Soooo Mrs. Kravitz...

2005-08-05T13:18:00.000-04:00

Not kidding, I couldn’t be the nosier neighbor right now. I’ve got nothing on Sandra Gould from “Bewitched” but god almighty I’m coming close to Mrs. Poole territory up here in the South End.

We have two basement apartments in our building. One is handicap accessible and the other a regular studio apartment. Can I just tell you that since they’ve built the handicrapper studio not one handicapped individual has lived there but that’s besides the point.

About 2 weeks ago I went through the basement to go out the back door. Noone really goes out the basement door unless they’ve parked on the street behind or they feel like running up and down the handi-ramp that was installed – you know… for fun. As I walk down the stairs I notice that the front apartment’s door is ajar – not wide open, but ajar. I figure the girl that lives down there must have run out to her car or whatever. Nothing big.

I come home that night, the door is still in the ajar position. Huh. I continue on upstairs. About 2 days later I head back down and the friggin’ door is still sitting there ajar. I begin to wonder if she moved, you never know. I leave.

About 3 days later I come into the building through the basement and as I am walking up notice that the door is now like halfway open and I can see a bed and a desk and assorted furnishings. What the hell is going on down here?

I knock on the door. No answer. I knock again. Nothing.

Now I’ve seen so many “Cold Case”, “CSI”, “L&O” episodes to know I am chartering in dangerous water but I press forward… on the door. No body by the bed, phew! “Hello?” I call out. No answer. I look around for evidence of broken or stolen items. There’s no unusually empty while portion of the rug where a tv maybe once was, nor is there a dusty rectangle on the wall from wence a frame once lived. Nothing seems awry. I shut to door with my sleeve covering my hand as to leave no fingerprints. Hey, if there is a dead corpse under the bed or in the tub I’m not gonna be linked to it. Hell to the No!

I head on over to the Management Company for our building. I tell Kelly the lazy eyed and unfortunate of teeth agent that covers our building my snooping story. She agrees to send someone over.

That night when I get home from the hospital I notice that the door is shut! Victory.

Jump forward two days and I go to leave out the basement door and notice that the damn door is once again ajar. What is going on? There are no marks on the door, no sign of forced entry. I knock. Nothing. I leave for the day, I gots no time for these cat and mouse games.

I come home that night, that stupid door is half open again. Do we have squatters? Is Gay Ricky in there with a homeless Juliana Hatfield? Did someone just steal Angela Chase’s boots? What the what-is-going-on-already?

I completely forget about it until the next day when I notice that the door is shut again. I know there’s no wind in that basement and to my knowledge rats do not have opposable thumbs but whatever – it’s closed. What is that god awful stench down here?

Two days later… Jon just calls and tells me that the door is open again. He went down to move the car before the street sweepers came and noticed that the door was once again ajar. Oh he did more than knock; he went in and walked around! I hope he had plastic booties on over the soles of his shoes – I know what Marg Helgenberger can do…

There was no dead blonde girl rotting under the dust ruffle – as far as he could tell. But damn, that smell was getting stronger and stronger – you could smell it on the second floor.

Oh Mrs. Kravitz is on it! I called up layz eyes and told her about the door again. I prefaced the convo with… “I don’t want to sound like the crazy snoopin’ neighbor and I know this is not 227 but that fucking door is wide open again! Did you ever send someone over? Did you ever call the girl that lives there? Did you hear anything? What’s the contingency plan for dead coeds in your apartments?”

After a minute or two of baffled silence a sound comes from behind those broken fence like teeth! “Oh I’m going to kill those rental agents…” Mystery solved folks – the stupid ass rental agents are showing that stinky cesspool smellin’ basement apartment and just leaving without shutting or locking that door. Lazy Eyed Picket Fence was pissed and swore to get to the bottom of it.

Let me get this straight, for almost 3 weeks this poor girl has been away on vacation and for most of those 3 weeks her apartment has been wide open for the world to see and pillage? It’s not beyond me to head on down there once she returns and fill her in (Ms. Huber style) on what went down. If any of her shit is missing, its lawsuit city! I loves it. And who in their right mind would rent that place with the smell of rotting flesh lingering. Are we sure that chicks on holiday?

55 Pages of Potter Left!

2005-07-27T12:02:00.000-04:00

Oh I can barely stand it. I've only got 55 pages left in Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince and I had to leave for work! ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Ugh, if I wasn't still temping and having the joy of not being paid if I call in sick... today soooo would have been a faked sore throat or an aneurism. At lunch I hope to finish... hour or no hour I'm not coming back until this war is over! Muggles be damned!

TVGuide Podcast Finally Names Me!

2005-07-25T09:41:00.000-04:00

I've had numerous mentions or questions answered on the TVGuide podcasts over the last month or two but have never had my name or monicker mentioned. Why the dis? Well finally, the anonomity is over! This past week's Podcast (July 21st) gave me the well deserved props... head on over the check it out (there are mentions of Ryan Reynolds, Fifteen, and Degrassi - what more could you ask for?

Celebrity Psychos - GENIUS!

2005-07-19T15:40:00.000-04:00

Please rush to the newsstand to sneak a peek at the cover the NEW YORK MAGAZINE! It's brilliance!

The End is TOO Near...

2005-07-18T13:12:00.000-04:00

Say it isn’t so… On their first day back from vacation and their first day sans E! crew, Howard Stern and Co. announced that more than likely their time on our celestial airwaves has been cut much shorter than originally planned. It has been prophesized that September will be the end of Howard Stern on our FM dial instead of January when he is planned to begin his Sirius Satellite gig. THAT’S TOO FUCKING SOON!

I am a devout Howard fan and listen every morning. Without their wacky and at times heartfelt commentary on things it will just not feel like morning any more. What will one have to look forward to? Getting dressed? Going to work? What the hell are we to do? I’m sick over it…

It's OFficial - I've Got a Part Time Job...

2005-07-18T13:11:00.000-04:00

As of this past Saturday, I am officially a member of the Coolidge Corner Theatre family. If you don’t live in Boston, The Coolidge is the best indie movie/revival house around. Not only do they show some of the best independent features, they have shorts programs, book signings, amateur porn nights, Buffy sing-a-longs, Freaks and Geeks Pajama Parties, midnight movies, female wrestling, high school film classes, children’s events, and a movie house pet cat named Ticket that funnily enough took a shirt in the main theatre Saturday night!

It’s hipster city when you look at the employees so somehow I must be the uncoolest thirtysomething working there – I’ve got the fauxhawk and the tattoos so maybe I’m not that out of the loop.

I’m excited to be part of the indie scene here in Boston as The Coolidge gets tons of events for filmmakers (national and local) and I’m hoping this could really help me meet some more film people in the Boston area to keep me motivated.

My first night there, we were screening March of The Penguins, Me and You and Everyone We Know, Mad Hot Ballroom, and a local documentary called The Minutemen. The midnight movies were Steamboy, and are you ready for this… Deep Throat! What?

Get Ready, it's Harry Potter Time!

2005-07-15T12:06:00.000-04:00

Okay so I am a total spaz. I will be attending a Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince party tonight in Newton. It's held by Newtonville Bookstore, which is a small independent bookstore with the best party planned ever. Tom Perrotta (author of Election and Little Children) will be reading from the Potter books. While I thought Little Children was somewhat disappointing, Election is an amazingly funny book and film. Also, Kay Hanley is performing and I just love her. In case you're not in the know, she was the lead singer of Letters to Cleo (from Boston) and is now living in LA. Her last solo effort was incredible. There will be scar painting, wizard hat making, drinks and snacks! If nothing else, it will be a hoot to see which kids dress up. And no, not me.

So I just finished reading a 20 page synopsis of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix because to tell the truth after 2 years it gets a little rusty. We've been told in preparation for this 6th book that there will be death of a main character. It had me thinking. They wouldnt dare kill Hermione because she is an amazingly strong female character and young girls I am sure look up to her. Ron wont die because he's comic relief. So who? Dumbledore? Is he alive anyway? He's like 1000 years old or something. As I read the synopsis it hit me though, it will be Harry Potter's Aunt Petunia. As prophecised, as long as a he can call her house home for some part of the year he is protected from Voldemort because Petunia is a blood link to Harry's Mother. Petunia must die before the end of book six so that by the final book, Harry is on the lam - exposed and forced into the final battle of his life. Oh yeah, I figured it out.

What if J.K. Rowling turns the Potter series into the Horror factor? In horror movies whenever an innocent teen loses their virginity they ultimately die. Will a character lose it at Hogwarts this term? Will that be the death of them? Is Voldemort really Jason Vorheese?

I'll post pics from the HP Party later.

Jagged Little Pill - Acoustic

2005-07-13T12:00:00.000-04:00

I wasn’t sure what to think of her redoing the perfect (in my book at least) first cd as a 10th anniversary acoustic edition. It really speaks to a specific time and place in music history and in my personal life. There was such great emotion and raw energy in JLP that it’s hard to reimagine it for the masses 10 years later and have it be relevant.

Obviously I’ve grown and moved on as has Alanis. She is hardly the angry and grungy neophyte from 1995 that spit out the lines: “You took me out to wine, dine, 69 me…” and “Are you thinking of me when you fuck her…”. The Alanis of today is a much more mature and centered (zen even) woman that has learned to control her anger and desperation. This has not really kept her in the spotlight or sold records but she has a place in music history that is well deserved. Somehow I own every album she’s ever released and have seen her in concert about 10 times. Amongst those albums in my collection is the classic MTV Unplugged which offers up acoustic versions of most of JLP so why would I need this new version? Well, quite simply I wanted to see how she’s progressed and see if she’s been able to transcend the original unplugged and numerous acoustic tours.

I’m happy to say that this new Starbucks exclusive JLP:Acoustic as a whole is an incredible tribute to the original. Some of the arrangements bring new levels of sadness to what was once an angry offering. It’s almost as if by redoing the album she was able to give us an update on her feelings toward the emotions within those songs, like going back in time and mending fences that may have been broken or burned. It was surprisingly resonate and I really did find myself thoroughly enjoying the acoustic album as a whole.

If you’re a fan of her chicken like acoustic warbling and seizure-like inflections please go out and get this album when you stop by for Starbuck’s new summer drink – The Green Tea Lemonade! They almost go together like Tea & T (only Lil Jenn will get that reference).

Starbucks New Summer Treat!

2005-07-13T10:16:00.000-04:00

Sweet Jesus, Starbucks just started selling an ICED GREEN TEA LEMONADE that is quite possibly orgasmic. No more going to the once banned Peet's for their Jasmine Lime Iced Tea!

It's summery goodness and I likey.

London Bombings

2005-07-07T12:46:00.000-04:00

As you may or may not know, London is where I will be moving if and when George W. Bush manages to declare Gay Marriages as unconstitutional country wide. Yes I know he’s declared it verbally but I’m talking able to pass legislation declaration. Whatever, so not the point. The point is that I love London and think that their subway system is the best in the world.

When Jon and I went, our hotel was right where this morning I woke to find that a double-decker bus had been blown to smithereens. A jigga what? Don’t go blowing up London folks, I may need to live there one day.

As for their Underground system, it’s the cleanest and most organized subway system I’ve ever been on. Jon was quick to point out that the Russell Square Underground station (kaboom this morning) was the one that puts the Davis Sq. T Stop to shame. The Russell Sq. stop is the furthest below London of any of the subway stations. The escalator is so long and steep that when you are at the bottom its impossible to see the top and vice-versa. Middle height on that thing is enough to give you vertigo as a top and bottom are not in sight and the endless advertisements running the walls and mechanical stairs as far as the eye can see will send one into a panic. The staircase has a health warning at the top and bottom, it’s that severe of an incline and distance underground.

Can you imagine trying to climb out of that tunnel with I’m sure no power, no air conditioning and the fear that another blast could happen any second? To top it all off, you have to walk up like 4 million stairs? Everest is nothing compared to the Russell Sq. Underground Station. No thank you.

Poor London.

That reminds me – Jon and I reported a mysterious bag to the Underground Police when we were there as well. We were on a train on our way back to the Airport and right by a door of the car we were riding in was a backpack that had no owner. After a stop or two we both noticed it. I was such a freakazoid that I had to get off the train. I was sure that thing was going to blow and I was not going down with it. Off we go! We have to head down a maze of stairwells to find a Police officer. We tell them about the bag and that the train is heading toward the airport. They rush around, thanking us. I think Jon actually said we were New Yorkers to justify our fear. I know, I need help.

As we awaited the next train to take us to what I worried was my next death vehicle (the plane) I kept looking down the tracks bracing myself for a mini dust cloud and fireball. It never came. Thank goodness the next train did though!

An Evening with Freaks and Geeks creator Paul Feig!

2005-07-07T10:16:00.000-04:00

Paul Feig wouldn’t tell the sold out crowd at The Coolidge Corner Theatre about his adolescent neck injury from trying to “recreate the sensation one receives” when getting a blowjob but many other embarrassments of riches were brought up as he read from his new book “Superstud.” Co-sponsored by Brookline Booksmith and the Coolidge, the creator of the series of perfection “Freaks and Geeks” was blown away by the crowd that gathered to hear him speak, sign and introduce two of his favorite episodes of “F&G” on this unbearably rainy evening in Boston.

From the “rope feeling” to nude photo art escapades all the way to his days as Detroit’s stand in Ronald McDonald he filled the packed crowd with incredibly funny stories and jabs at the Hollywood elite as he recanted his days of geekdom and stardom as the man behind one of televisions most underrated yet worshiped shows in history. He’s tall and skinny; a fast talker with a bombastic voice that just gives him this presence and likeability that is undeniably sweet and mild-mannered.

He conceded that Sam and Lindsay are the two characters he most identified with and most represented his childhood. Sam was the shorter version of Paul Feig in High School but Lindsay represented Paul Feig at the time the series was created. He joked that Lindsay was him at age 30 – it took males till the age of 30 to reach the maturity level of a High School girl. He also let it be known that he had quite the soft spot for Bill Haverchuck as he really did represent the “geek” of 1980 and that originally Bill was based off of his friend that actually was semi-retarded but that the network didn’t really want to go that direction.

In casting he said that his favorite story was when they were in Quebec seeing hundreds of actors, he came across Stephen Lea Sheppard sitting in the corner reading a book. He eventually was cast as Harris Trinsky and shooting was just about to begin on the first episode so they had to rush immigration papers for Sheppard as he was Canadian and supposed to be in the infamous fight scene along with Bill and Neal but apparently “rushing” immigration papers is only done if there is no other person in the American that can perform the task that this immigrant is to perform. So, Paul Feig forged recommendation letters from Speilberg and Scorsese saying that Stephem Lea Sheppard is the best actor they’ve ever seen. It was hysterical! If you’ve seen the show, you know that although he is quite funny, he’s no Oscar contender nor the prettiest of the bunch!

I fucking love the guy! He was a showrunner that actually lived and breathed his series. He put all of his heart and soul into those characters and honestly wanted to do nothing more than tell the tale of the other half – those outside of the cheerleading and football circles. He talked about how NBC was so frustrated with the stories because there were no “victories” for the characters – nothing big and good came to them. He said he always argued that there were victories in every story… by the end of each episode it was a victory that those characters survived. It was a funny comment but you could tell that THAT really was the goal and heart of the show.

The two episodes that he chose to screen were “among” his favorites. The first was “Girlfriends and Boyfriends” which had his favorite Harold Weir story (Korean hookers and misspent $5 bill). The second was “Looks and Books” where Lindsay wrecks her parents car after Daniel and the gang convince her to help them get band equipment. This is the one where Lindsay rejoins the Mathletes and the one where Sam slaps on that leisure suit to impress Cindy with his new look. Genius!

Unlike Harold Weir losing his virginity to a $5 Korean Red Light District Hooker, my night with Paul Feig was incredible and the best $5 I've spent in ages! Well, make that the best $5 Jon spent in ages as I didn't have cash on me. Whoops!

Donna, sorry you missed it. You would have just died.

War of the Worlds Boycott Petition

2005-06-29T16:24:00.000-04:00

So some crazed folks created a Boycott War of the Worlds Petition citing all of Tommy boys recent psychotic episodes as reasons. As of yesterday nearly 3,000 had signed the petition. I was #4,054 as I digitally protested the Scientologist.

Sign the Petition

iTunes integrates Podcasts!

2005-06-28T13:17:00.000-04:00

Nice, today Apple released a new version of iTunes which flawlessly integrates Podcasting. I no longer have to spend a good hour or so a week searching through Podcast databases, iTunes is compiling them right on my Mac! Super Duper!

I Got A TVGuide Podcast Mention! (click here)

2005-06-27T18:25:00.000-04:00

So I got a mention on the TVGuide Podcast from June 20th! Although columnist Angel Cohen does not mention my name or monicker, I did write in telling her to can the all too frequent "husband" mentions in her daily column. Click on the subject heading to listen...

The Get Up Kids - Farewell Tour

2005-06-27T18:03:00.000-04:00

Saturday night I was overjoyed as well as saddened to witness the second to last TGUK show ever. Since 1997 I’ve been a dedicated and super loyal fan of these boys. Having seen them a total of 6 times (hey, I’m 31 – that’s pretty good for an old guy) I am happy to say that they did not disappoint in my 6th and final experience. In a mega-2 hour set the now no-longer “kids” rocked The Palladium to an obscene number of fans young (and I do mean youuuuuung) and old (including parents).

Barely touching on their great but TGUK-light last album “The Guilt Show” they blew me away with more oldies that I ever could have hoped for. Touching on a couple ditties from their entire discography it was 120 minutes of power, passion, excitement, and emotion on this, their second to last show EVER! They played numbers from their first 7”s as well as my favorite covers, The Cure’s “Close to Me” and The Replacements “Beer For Breakfast.” I was a sweaty and frazzled fanboy throughout. Screaming my lungs out, rocking emo-style, and feeling like a little kid - I witnessed the end of an incredible band that moved me for the last eight years.

Super Sweet Jesus

2005-06-17T20:02:00.000-04:00

Super Sweet Jesus
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

I just got my issue of EW in the mail and on the cover is the new Superman, Brandon Routh. Good Lord its almost made me weak in the knees. He has this innocence and purity to him that is unbelievable. No wonder gayboy Brian Singer cast him in the upcoming film. I gotta wait until 2006 to see him all dorked out in chunky buddy holly's and all shy-like.

I gotta get some tissues.

Office Elevator of Death

2005-06-17T15:48:00.000-04:00

Office Elevator of Death
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

So there is this one sole elevator in the bank of elevators that go to the floor I work on. This one special elevator is express if you will. It only heads on up to this one floor and higher. So it breezes past all the unnecessary floors which I love. That is until those rare occasions (about twice a week) where this sole elevator door opens, you press L for Lobby and the damn thing hurls you to the Lobby so fast that there is honestly a second or two where I question whether it will slam into the ground pushing my legs through my brain killing me instantly. I know, paranoid much? I can't help it. I even go as far as to hold the railing and bend at the knees slightly just in case we make a hard landing. You don't know!

This tin can is a death trap if you're asking me. If there's a security camera in there, they all must huddle around when they see me enter! Juanita will say to Abdhul, "Now watch him bend at the knees... HAHAHA!" Damn them and their surveillance voyeurism! You think I'm crazy but if you are waiting for this death cab (and not for Cutie) while in the Lobby, the wind whushes and howls through those doors as you wait. Hair feathers, cheeks sucks back and teeth are exposed as the G-Force builds in the elevator shaft.

Podcasts

2005-06-17T10:21:00.000-04:00

Podcasts
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

So I’m currently addicted to Podcasts. Well, the TVGuide podcast to be specific. The TVGuide Online crew are my favorites for all things gossipy and sarcastic. They have great Watercooler banter and Michael Ausiello’s column’s are always the best news in the biz. They are great fun and it translates to the Podcasts giving the listener a solid 30 minutes of entertainment each week.

Because of my joy with the TVGuide Podcast, I decided to branch out this week. I’ve subscribed to the WGBH Morning Stories Podcast which is actually well done and fun NPRish radio-docs. I noticed that there are some NPR Podcasts out there, so I will be picking them up later on this week.

I came across a duo that was reviewing movies, good indie movies and thought I would give them a try and this morning all the way to work I cringed at how awkward and stilted it all was the listen to. Just not good. He read the review straight from a script and it just came across as a bad newscast instead of what could have been a fun conversational laid back piece. This is a podcast folks, not Pulitzer prize winning journalism. Can you imagine if podcasts are the new blogs? God help us, we’ll all have one.

Speaking of… Anyone want to join me in a podcast?

Shootout at the O-Gay Corral

2005-05-23T16:10:00.000-04:00

Shootout at the O-Gay Corral
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

So I’m jolted awake at 12:40am by a rather loud noise and a semi-whimper-yell. I roll over, readjust, settle back in. I hear a man calmly yelling for help. I listen more closely. Our bedroom windows are wide open and its not too late so some drunk kids could be out playing, you never know. Listen… “I’ve been shot…” Jon and I are now both up! Hello. So that noise that woke me up, YEAH A FUCKING GUN SHOT right outside our bedroom window. Granted we are on the 4th floor, but this person is on the sidewalk on the other side of the street calling out because they’ve been SHOT. What? Jon’s now got his head out the window but neither of us can see a person. Jon deducts that the person occasionally yelling is by the church across from us. Neighbors are hanging out windows. The guys next door are out on their deck smoking away. As Jon runs downstairs to call 911 I hear a woman asking where he is. Apparently we weren’t the only ones that couldn’t find said victim. Sirens!
Jon’s on his way up with his cell phone. I tell him that someone’s already called and that I can hear sirens. Within seconds there are two ambulances, a paddy wagon and about 10 cop cars that swarm the street. The whole time from waking up to the cops arriving is maybe a minute and a half. It is comforting to know that if I get shot in my backyard which is apparently now a possibility – that medical assistance will be there within a minute.
Not kidding, within minutes they have the guy into the ambulance and rushed away. The cops clear out within 15 and it’s a quiet peaceful night again. I assess whether or not I should have a panic attack but realize I’m too tired. I swear I heard a cop say they caught “him” in the “lot” so I felt relieved and safe. Bedtime again! I mean wouldn’t they be casing the joint or something if there was a fugitive at large?
This morning when I woke, Jon and I were on the couch and I asked if he heard the guy scream that he was shot in the FOOT? Jon said he heard that too. Not so bad, what if he shot himself in the foot like a drunk jackass? Jon leaves for work. I turn on Fox25 and Q reports on the shooting. YEAH, the guy was shot in the CHEST and the have NO SUSPECTS as of yet. Great. Welcome to the South End bitch!

Xbox Yippie!

2005-05-19T16:54:00.000-04:00

For once Jon and I are almost with the times. It’s 2005 and we have been playing the original Playstation in secret as to not be shamed by gamers worldwide. I mean, PS2 has been out for how long and we never upgraded. Xbox as well. We just don’t play enough or as fanatically to justify spening the dough. Well I’d like to announce that we now have Xbox! Granted, Xbox360 comes out soon, but cut me some slack… We’re closer than we ever have been to conquering the gaming world.
My brother sent us the Xbox. He included “Topspin” which is a tennis game I liked when I played it at his house in Houston. Then because I am cheeseball I went out and bought the “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” game. What’s next? “Alias”? You don’t know…

This Thing Sucks...

2005-05-19T16:53:00.000-04:00

I can now suck a golf ball through a garden hose! Well, actually our new vacuum can, but you get the innuendo. After months (no lie) of research and contemplation we settled on the Bissell CleanView II and I fucking love it! Originally we were Dyson bound as it is supposed to be the best for pet hair pickup. On numerous occasions we almost purchased a Dyson but the one we wanted, no one seemed to carry in stock – a good thing for us as shelling out $400-$500 for a vacuum is a little excessive. Pet hair was our number one concern as we have a fully carpeted apartment and two cats. I need suction and I need it now! I’m happy to report that for almost a quarter of the Dyson price we were able to get an incredible little sucker. We filled almost 1/3 of a 13 gallon trash bag with cat hair after our first major vacuuming! Gross, huh? Just three weeks ago we steam cleaned the rugs too, so those damn cats are a shedding nightmare. Damn I love a clean floor!

Gay Marriage Decision - Happy Anniversary

2005-05-17T18:07:00.001-04:00

Gay Marriage Decision - Happy Anniversary
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

Look Jethro, dem Queers done made it a year. Guess its not the end of the world. That’s right Sammy Jo, Human Beings were aloud to marry a year ago just like your inbred trailer park pig farmin’ self and noone cares. Congrats on not lynching anyone these past 12 months. Rural fences everywhere cry a sigh of relief.
Do I celebrate? Sure. It was a civil rights victory that directly affects me, or could directly affect me if Jon or I were in a critical situation and were possibly denied access to each other or rights given to Jethro and Sammy Jo in emergency medical, economic, or death circumstances.
Does it complicate the relationship? I guess it could. I mean, there was never this option available and now that there is, it could add an element of finality to a relationship. I mean how many straight couples did you hear about breaking up because one wasn’t ready to “commit?” Plenty. I think its ridiculous that if you are happy in a relationship and everything is working smoothly that there is no need to end things just because that person may not want to marry at this time. I think it’s an unwelcome pressure put on a couple based on societal standards. And just like everything else that’s good in this world, corruption by the masses ruins what could be a good thing. Sure I would like presents, money and flat-ware from Crate & Barrel but not to be like “you.”
I believe in gay marriage. I believe in the need for the rights given to married couples. But, I do think there is a difference between a gay and straight relationship. It’s equal but it is not the same in some regards. There is a struggle and a stigma that had to be overcome in a gay relationship to survive. That alone is a bond, a union created by strength and love. The problem is, this country doesn’t recognize that victory and can refuse you the rights given to heterosexual couples. For this reason, we need the ability to marry, to be recognized by law as the other half in a relationship, and to be treated as a human being by medical and financial institutions.
The fight against legalizing gay marriage reminds me of the way “Americans” have adopted this uber-patriotic stance on American life post 9/11. If you do not have an American flag waving and a fucking magnetic ribbon on your trunk you’re a terrorist or a sympathizer. It’s similar in group mentality. No one cared that the divorce rate is at an all time high and that more marriages are annulled within the first month than ever before in history but if two consenting adults want to marry their same sex partner – the sanctity of marriage is being trashed. People that never once questioned or criticized themselves and their marriage now have a hard religious stance for the institution of marriage. Even though the ritual of “religious” marriage is not the only marriage practiced and honored, it is now being heralded as the only acceptable “marriage” recognized by the public eye. Well, the public and GOD of course.

Bad News Bears (1976)

2005-05-17T18:07:00.000-04:00

Bad News Bears (1976)
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

Last night, BNB was on HBO and we watched the whole movie. I remember this being a huge part of my childhood. I loved BNB, BNB Breaking Training, and even went to see the not so good BNB Go To Japan. I forgot how brilliant this film was in the decade or so since having seen it last. Tanner was always my favorite, though if truth be told I was more of the Timmy Lupus character in real life. It’s crass, bold, and just plain wrong at times but it gives the underdog hope. It’s Revenge of the Nerds Grade School Style! The writing is genius and the acting is actually really good. Tatum O’Neal is wonderful, reaching a style and sophistication no 12 year old should have and she raises the bar for these child actors. I mean how many people can hold their own against Walter Matheau? Even as a Grumpy Old Man he overshadowed the ancient Ann Margaret. To now see that Little Darling could handle herself with one of the greats, its encouraging and all directors should be showing this performance to their little kids. Dakota Fanning, rent it girl!
Jon brought up a good point though while watching BNB. They do not make movies like this anymore. I know there is a remake that is coming out with Billy Bob Thornton in the Buttermaker role but what he meant was that they do not make movies with KIDS like this ANYMORE. Case in point: Tanner – “All we got on this team are a buncha Jews, spics, niggers, pansies, and a booger-eatin' moron!” Can you see Haley Joel Osmet delivering that line? Neither can I!
That’s the beauty of the 70’s and 80’s. We weren’t so sheltering of adolescence. Film reflected the truth about kids, not sanitized Disney versions of idealistic youth. Every kid I knew growing up was a member of the Bad News Bears. We were foul-mouthed harsh kids and it was great to see yourself reflected on the silver screen.

Cult-Like Obsessions

2005-05-11T10:18:00.000-04:00

Cult-Like Obsessions
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

I’m officially announcing that I’ve joined not one, but two cults in my adult life. If there is a meteor I’m supposed to worship, I don’t trust it. If there are white shoes, toga’s, and long hair in my future, I don’t trust it. If I’m in a warehouse in the Texas heat, I don’t trust it. If I’m friends with a man with a swastika carved into his forehead, I don’t trust it. If it comes with a white cup, a green logo of a mermaid, and overly ridiculous prices I TRUST IT baby!

Starbucks is my temple and I bow down and pray daily! From the snappy tunes to the snazzy all-black outfits I feel a part of the group. I understand the lingo as long as it may be. I understand the need for their uniformity and togetherness. I understand that once they’ve wrapped their foamy hands around you, there is no turning back. I’d shoot Jodie Foster for them. Lincoln, Kennedy, Nixon, Reagan you’re all just obstacles in my way to a Venti Non-Fat No Water Chai.

If the prices are remarkably low, affordable for all… I don’t trust it. If it involves windows, I avoid it. If generic and purchased in any Costco, I don’t trust it! If it’s white, simple, and punchy in design with an Apple logo… I TRUST IT! Apple is the alter to which I sacrifice paychecks. I’m a marketing executive’s favorite person and I can’t help it. Is there a support group? There is, Apple Care! Are there twelve steps? No, but there are twelve versions of the same product you just purchased coming out in the next month but they won’t clue you in so you just wasted money! That’s okay, its shiny and spectacularly designed… I don’t mind. I’m an addict.

He's 45 & He's Got the "Power"

2005-05-04T07:24:00.000-04:00

Heâ€™s 45 & Heâ€™s Got the â€œPowerâ€
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

I’m on the train this morning listening to the light and soothing sound of Keane on my Ipod. A stubby woman has wedged her way into the seat next to me prompting me to look up at her with glaring eyes from the “paper” – The Metro. Back Bay, more file into the not so crowded for a Tuesday morning car. We head toward New England Medical.

“Everybody’s Changing” comes to a close and I faintly hear it. “duh-na dit dit dit dit dit dit duh-na-na-na dit dit dit dit dit…” I look up. No, it can’t be! Who would listen to that? And that LOUD? I pause my Ipod.

“duh-na dit dit dit dit dit dit duh-na-na-na dit dit dit dit dit I GOT THE POWER!”

From the gay man’s ears standing over me billows the 90’s one hit wonder stylings of SNAP and I’m blown away.

“Heeeeeyyyyyy yeah yeah yeah… I GOT THE POWER!”

I crack a smile and chucle! This is hilarious. As I look glance back down I notice the girl across from me noticing me noticing what she just noticed and she busts out laughing. Then I try to contain my laughter. I’ve got to tell y’all. It was getting’, getting’, gettin’ kinda hectic for a moment. There we were, two strangers on a miserable morning commute united by the power, the hectic and heavy power of Snap! This makes coming to work bearable.

Apples & Oranges

2005-05-02T17:50:00.000-04:00

Apples & Oranges
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

Friday night I found out that "they" are now making bags of individually wrapped Apple Slices in grocery stores. Because biting into or cutting an apple is so taxing. I'm sure that the plastic is as impossible to open as the chip bag so maybe the theory behind the individually wrapped Apple Slices is that you burn more calories than eating a whole apple? Who can tell. The point is I thought it one of the most assinine things until this afternoon.

I brought a Florida Navel Orange to work and it dawned on me. The reason I don't eat more oranges is that they are such a worriesome fruit to consume. That tough exterior peel is not easy to remove. I mean they make instruments in kitchen stores to assist, if you need assistance in eating a fruit its not worth it to me. I've taken to scoring the orange with a plastic knife or the non-scoopy end of a plastic spoon and peeling from there. It seems to help but then comes my next beef with said citrus. The little brand name label always runs and stains your fingers because the ink they use is soooo not waterproof. Now, I've used an instrument and I now have stained fingers... who's been in the cookie jar? So fine, instrument - leaky label... Why must an orange squirt? On the desk, the wall, your shirt and if you're lucky... your eye!

Bio-wash the eye, get your silkwood shower and its on to eating the 20 minute orange. I think Rachel Ray should have a show on this. 30 minute snack: Today's episode, the orange. The fucker's peeled! Rejoice... oh not so fast. What the hell is that next layer of crap? I thought I peeled this bitch? It's like a mucus membrane or something and it's as easy to get off as a 90 year old hooker.

Am I alone here? I now praise the maker of the Apple Slice and I shall never judge as if they come out with the individually wrapped Orange Slices, I'm sold.

Serenity Trailer (click here)

2005-04-26T19:19:00.000-04:00

Serenity Trailer
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

Goodness Gracious, the trailer for SERENITY came out today in quicktime format. Serenity is the film following the series "Firefly" by Joss Whedon. The show was incredible and the film looks bamtastic! Space, Guns, Ass Kicking, and Reavers! Check it out, click on the subject heading above.

48 Hour Film Project (click here)

2005-03-30T22:36:00.000-05:00

48 Hour Film Project
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

I've added a page to my site about my participation in the 48 Hour Film Project - Boston. Check it out!

And in this corner...

2005-03-30T07:36:00.000-05:00

And in this corner...
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

Ringside has an album coming out on April 19th and its not normally my "thing" but this synthpop, lazy day duo is making me groove at the moment. I have 4 of their songs and I enjoy them. I enjoy them almost as much as I enjoyed the sythm himself, Mr. Lord of the Flies himself, Mr. Balthazar Getty a wet dream of mine from middle school. Good lord I remember those boys running around half naked, dirty and trying to kill! That's hot.

Changing Directions - Run Ducky, Run!

2005-03-27T09:46:00.000-05:00

Changing Directions - Run Ducky, Run!
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

A little gay birdie may have told you that for the past three years I participated in numerous AIDS Rides benefiting both local and national AIDS charities. The reason I originally began these rides was to help educate and raise awareness about this disease as well as challenge myself physically and emotionally to complete these grueling rides. I’ve raised almost $8000 and have ridden over 2000 miles.
Every year I want to keep pushing myself to attempt further distances or tackle a new activity. I was planning on doing an AIDS Ride from Montreal to Boston this summer instead of the ride across Mass. but my financial and “unemployed” status does not favor my participation. I am bummed as it would have been a five day ride through two countries and over 500 miles. What can you do? A guy must eat and have somewhere to live.
For now I believe I will volunteer for the Mass Red Ribbon Ride, possibly being their “film” person, documenting the weekend and their cause. I’ve worked well with AIDS Action and would like to see this ride succeed. This is the make it or break it year and I would still like to participate in a ride I helped form in some way or another. God knows those monthly planning meetings in year one were full of optimism, enthusiasm, and pizza!
Alas I need a new challenge (as if finding a job isn’t challenging enough). For this I’ve decided to tackle the unspeakable for my not so physical of body. I will train this spring and summer for the Boston Triathlon (formerly known as the Monster Challenge) which takes place this September. I know, right? Who? ME you dream stealers! I know how to ride a bike. I can swim a lap or two in a pool or most of the way across Walden Pond. You don’t know!
Starting the first week of April, I will begin my 13 week running regimen that is supposed to have me prepped and ready to run 10k in 13 weeks. It will be hard, but that is why I try to find these challenges each year. If I can’t take a week off for an AIDS Ride through Canada and the US, I can swim in the Boston Harbor, bike down Memorial Drive and run my ass around the wharf dammit!

Jack Jack Attack!

2005-03-27T09:43:00.000-05:00

Jack Jack Attack!
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

"Jack Jack Attack" is four minutes of pure comedic enjoyment. Watching what really happened to Kari while babysitting Jack Jack had me in tears. From his fireball persona to his floating through walls this animated short solidifies the fact that Brad Bird is a genius. Her frazzled with the fire extinguisher and mirror the morning after only reaffirms that she was in fact the right girl for the job.

Dueling Canes...

2005-03-17T08:16:00.000-05:00

As I was walking in this morning, The Black Maria were blaring on my iPod as I noticed a portly gentleman coming across the atrium with a wooden cane. He was slow, but moving well enough. Not a second later like a whoosh of dust in a Western comes a portly woman ambling towards him with the exact same cane. There is a grand fountain between them and my first thoughts were of a duel. Is there room for only one caned individual in this building? As the tension built (or was that the music) I couldn’t help imagining this fight to the death to see which invalid can stay and claim 2 International Place as their own.

Sometimes I'm So Gay...

2005-03-16T07:42:00.000-05:00

At times I don’t believe I fit certain stereotypes about being a flaming queer (like the other day when Jon and I replaced the faucet in our kitchen) but then I find myself thinking I couldn’t be more gay; let’s say like right now when I find myself sitting here singing Kelly Clarkson’s “Since You Been Gone” over and over in my head and contemplating the breakup of Alexander Payne and Sandra Oh and why oh why did Mario Vazquez leave me, er... American Idol?

Get That Seat!

2005-03-16T07:41:00.000-05:00

The subway trains on the Orange Line (like those on the Red and Blue as well) have seats that line the dirty walls of the car. These seats have enough scooped padding to seat the average ballet class of anorexics not average humans. Given their limited allotment of ass size on any given day, these seats are pushed to their max in the winter when normal sized human beings get on the train in their bulky winter wear. Realistically there is no way to actually seat lets say 4 people in a row, it just doesn’t work. Three is fine because each person can let a partial cheek ride the metal leaving the narrowest of open space or the equivalent of a half seat.
Picture this… every time I am on the train a woman (and honestly it’s only women) will push and pull as she darts for that half space. Almost never saying “excuse me” she wedges her fat middle American white tennis shoe wearing self into that half seat disrupting the seating arrangement that has been agreed upon for the last three stops. Inevitably fat middle American bitchface gets off at the next stop. Her cankles couldn’t handle a :30 second ride to the next fucking stop? I hate these women. Stand, it won’t kill you. We all work all day. We all just got up an hour ago and haven’t had tea. We all would love a seat, but sometimes its just not in the cards you doucebag.

Straight-Edge Stigma

2005-03-16T07:39:00.000-05:00

If you didn’t know, you do now. I’ve been straight-edge now for officially 15 years. Straight-edge in case you’ve been living in a cave for the past two decades is when an individual (usually associated with the hardcore-punk scene) takes a personal vow to remain drug-free. That means no drinking, no smoking, and no drugs of any kind. Some people go as far as to include caffeine and sex in the equation but who am I kidding I like some dick and I love me some Diet Coke with Lime. Allow these vices.
Now I am NOT preachy; I don’t go around chastising people on the streets because they are having a glass of wine or shooting up next to me in the theatre. It’s a personal choice I made a long time ago and I’m sticking to it… for me!
The superiority complex I have because of growing up in the hardcore scene and with straight-edge kids does however dip in and out of my now 31 year old psyche on occasion. There are certain things I don’t like to do because of being straight-edge. Let’s give the example of going into a liquor store. It’s weird to me that there is a store for altering a persons being and for encouraging alcoholism. Jon and I went into one last weekend to get Amaretto for a dessert recipe (that would be cooked off) and I wanted to sit in the car because I just felt so awkward about going in. Rationale told me to get. out. of. the. car. you’re being stupid, but there was that moment of hesitation because I didn’t want to be in a liquor store. I acknowledge that it’s not normal and that no one is judging me because I am going into a liquor store. No one is going to take away my membership card! But, there is something that makes me feel somewhat better than that and I want people to know I’m not going in to by alcohol.
I’m sure anyone reading this is instantly thinking: “Hi Judgmental Much?” I guess I am, it’s just that I am proud of being Straight-Edge and Vegetarian for 15 years (formerly vegan for 7) and the attention whore in me wants everyone to know it. I need therapy.

Cleveland Rocks!

2005-03-03T22:53:00.000-05:00

Jon and I will be going to Cleveland of all places in May for his niece’s graduation from Oberlin. Flights were dirt cheap, I mean who ever flies to Cleveland? It has never crossed my mind that Clevo would be somewhere my ass would set sights on but alas, it is. What’s the first and only tourist attraction in Cleveland to be visited? The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Do they make tires in Cleveland? Is there a giant tire there? Am I thinking of the wrong place? Who can tell me?

Haute Tension (click here)

2005-02-28T11:26:00.000-05:00

Haute Tension (click here)
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

The best slasher film since the original "Texas Chainsaw Massacre"

Quit with the Remakes!!!!

2005-02-23T23:44:00.000-05:00

Quit with the Remakes!!!!
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

It is unacceptable that Hollywood remake certain films. The most recent to enrage me is the urban remake of "Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House", starring Cary Grant and Myrna Loy, which has quite possibly one of the best lines of dialogue ever uttered on film involving the use of color in a house. It’s a genius film with laugh out loud moments and sentiment that still holds up today. The writing is impeccable and the humor raw (even for 1940). This is not the first time this film has been remade; a loose adaptation was made in the 80’s (the very funny Money Pit starring Tom Hanks and Shelly Long). So why am I bitching? Well, in the 80’s I didn’t know the far superior "Mr. Blandings" existed. If I did… The Money Pit would have been banned.

48 Hour Film Project 2005

2005-02-21T23:22:00.000-05:00

48 Hour Film Project 2005
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

I'm officially entered in the 2005 48 Hour Film Project! I was notified on Friday. On April 8-10 I will once again be making guerilla warfare on the filmmaking community. With luck, this year I will have learned from previous mistakes and make a better film. Stay tuned.

Annoyed

2005-02-18T07:27:00.000-05:00

Annoyed
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

In the paper today were two items that just make me sick. No, not the listing for “Joey” but the inclusion of two articles dedicated to the new moral Amerikkka. One is an update on the Indecency Bill that passed through the House yesterday with flying colors. This new bill allows the government to fine individual broadcasters up to $500k for each act “they (the govt)” deam offensive. Of course the line of what is considered acceptable is sagging lower than Tara Reid’s breasts and as blurry as her Friday night boozefest so how are broadcasters to keep up? Don’t fret folks, the maximum fine per day is only $3million. House Representative Fred Upton (R-MI) said, “Our children will be better off for it.” Apparently the next bill being proposed is to reinstall public book burnings and right behind that bill is one condoning genocide. I’ve already started stocking up on embroidery thread for all the Scarlet Letter’s that will be dolled out.
The second and equally as frightening story was about PBS President and CEO, Pat Mitchell, announcing that she will step down from her post as head of PBS in 2006 because of increased pressure and misconduct accusations surrounding her funding the show “Postcards from Buster.” As you know, “PFB” has been in the news because our little cartoon bunny friend Buster traveled to Vermont to explore and learn about Maple Syrup. While on his travels, Buster happened upon two lesbian couples, each raising families and living as normal productive and educated members of society. Many family organizations from the RED have complained and now Congress is saying that PBS misused the public education funds they received by promoting such lifestyles. This makes me sick to my stomach. I just can’t deal with this administration and the delusional moral high ground this country is heading down.

Million Dollar Baby REVIEW

2005-02-01T23:23:00.000-05:00

Million Dollar Baby
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

"The review is in!" I see Oscar Oscar... Oscar Oscar...

Dead...

2005-01-26T18:40:00.000-05:00

I was talking to my mother and she told me that Jackie Dukat died. Now, if you are reading this, I can almost guarantee that you have no clue who this Jackie might be, but that’s okay. Follow me. I was surprised but not horribly affected by the news. This could be because I had not seen nor spoken to Jackie in probably 15 years. Out of sight, out of mind. While on the phone with my mom, I looked up her obituary online. No cause of death, just that she had „died at home… Now, Jackie was not 90 years old. She was not 70 years old. Jackie was only 34 and she…”died at home.” I don’t know what that means. Does that mean she had some long horribly drawn out disease that killed her? Does that mean she died suddenly without warning? Does that mean she offed herself? What does “died at home” mean? My mom pointed out that the obituary does not mention a donation center (hospital or some sort of “cause” fund to contribute to), which usually indicated that the deceased had a disease relating to the “cause” fund that caused death. I reviewed the obit, it was true, no “cause” fund… “Died at home.”
As the days have gone on, I've thought about Jackie. This chick had some major influence in development years. I learned how to twirl a baton because of Jackie for Christ sake. I played hide and seek in the “hair salon” in Jackie’s basement (I swear I didn’t do hair). I hung out with Jackie non-stop for many a year, swimming in her pool, playing in her car-port. She was always the one starting our “kick the can” games or a round of “four squares.” “Fences” was developed by the neighborhood kids and she had a hand in that. We built a snow cave in her front yard one year and it was surprisingly warm. Fuck, without Jackie, I never would have played "PIT" and "Mill Bournes" two of the best games EVER (of which I still have and play to this day)! And all they tell you is…”Died at home”

Tim Burton's "Corpse Bride" (click here)

2005-01-25T18:54:00.000-05:00

Tim Burton's "Corpse Bride"
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

If you've yet to see the trailer for Tim Burton's Corpse Brde, its a must see. Please click on the title of this posting for a preview! God, is it wrong to hope for a cameo by one of the "Nightmare Before Christmas" folk?

Comcast, you better not fuck me.

2005-01-25T18:27:00.000-05:00

If you read my DVR experience last spring with Comcast you know it was a multi-day fiasco that got both Jon and I some free pay channels for a couple months. I just called today to upgrade our original DVR box to the dual
receiver DVR and they are coming on Friday at 3pm to do the free install and upgrade. Last time we did this was also a Friday at 3pm so I am a little apprehensive as I didn’t have DVR until Saturday at 1pm after about 3 hours
on the phone with Comcast and a piece of someone‚s ass in my hand. With luck, it will not be an issue this time around. They will come with the Dual receiver, not the single, nor the ghetto standard digital box. DUAL. Comcast, heed my warning. 3pm, Friday with Dual DVR or we throw down.

Dream a Little Dream of... What the hell?

2005-01-25T18:24:00.000-05:00

I woke up at 2am this morning from an odd nightmare where Jon and I were waiting for an Ambulance (reason is unknown) and this damn Ambulance just kept backing over us again and again. The constant “BEEP BEEP BEEP” ringing as it comes toward us and runs us over time after time. This never ending cycle.
“BEEP BEEP BEEP” Backs over us. “BEEP BEEP BEEP” Backs over us again. “BEEP BEEP BEEP” “BEEP BEEP BEEP” “BEEP BEEP BEEP” “BEEP BEEP BEEP” “BEEP BEEP BEEP” “BEEP BEEP BEEP” “BEEP BEEP BEEP” “BEEP BEEP BEEP” “BEEP BEEP BEEP" “BEEP BEEP BEEP”
2:00 am, I wake up and look around the bedroom and I hear it “BEEP BEEP BEEP!”
A fucking tow truck and a plow are on the street behind us towing cars and plowing spots for the school that is located there. The damn “BEEP BEEP BEEP” I kept hearing in my dream was the tow truck backing up over and over again as it towed the whole left side of the street from at least 2:00am until I woke again at 6. Apparently no one knew they had placed a
parking ban on the school side of the street yesterday afternoon. Luckily Jon saw them post it so he moved yesterday before everyone else got home from work. “BEEP BEEP BEEP”

Sidewalks and My Patience

2005-01-25T18:17:00.000-05:00

I have to tell you from the start that I can be the most inpatient of people
at any given moment. With that in mind, imagine my joy as I head out for
work with snow drifts 6‚ high and single file paths that have either not
been shoveled so a stomped icy path is created or a shoveled narrow path is
created where you have to merge and wait turns all day long.
The worst scenario is getting trapped in a single file snow path behind a
lolly-gaggin‚ Sunday drivin‚ ear muffed and hooded figure that is completely
oblivious that a conga line of hatred has formed behind him and there is no
way out. You're trapped behind this snail of a human being for the next
block unless you go shoulder deep in a snow bank or shove the person face
first into an icy patch at the next door stoop. It's annoying. I'm talking
"the person sitting next to you in the theatre answers his/her cell phone"
annoying. At times I think I need therapy. Much?

Blizzard '05 Coverage

2005-01-25T18:14:00.000-05:00

From Fox to NBC, ABC, CBS, NECN, CNNHN to The Weather Channel I flipped for
hours on end. Beginning Saturday morning and well on into my Sunday day, I
was glued to the endless and pointless coverage. You do not need to be
meteorologist Cindy Fitzgibbon to know it was snowing out and that there was
no end in sight. It's not science here folks. Oh, wait. It is, but is
there a need for me to sit there and watch the same stories told by the same
anchors for 24 hours straight? Probably not, but that is what I did. Of
course, it was peppered with the occasional video on FUSE, or M2. The why
not see what's "On Demand" at this hour or the other. But for real, it was
Blizzard coverage, non-stop. Jon slept, got annoyed, and played on the
computer. Not me, I was there until that storm died. Jackass.

Oy No!

2005-01-13T07:41:00.000-05:00

Oy No!
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

If you're the Prince of England, is there NOONE around to tell you NO, DONT GO AS A NAZI SOLDIER to that Costume Party. Jackass.

The Best of 2004

2005-01-01T19:20:00.000-05:00

The Best of 2004
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

Want to know my favorites of 2004? "Click Here" for a recap.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

2004-12-22T00:18:00.000-05:00

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

Sweet Home Privet Drive! July 16th is the release date for the 6th book... "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince."

When 5 came out last summer I waiting outside a small bookstore in Provincetown with some 12 year old girl. I camped out like it was Star Wars or something. Ms. Pre-teen and I were the first two in line to get "Order of the Phoenix" on a Saturday morning while I was on vacation for my friends Anne & Lisa's Committment Ceremony.

Where will I be this year?

Tall Hats, Beards, and Cocks! Oh My!

2004-12-21T18:21:00.000-05:00

A new book is coming out about President Lincoln, and man is it COMING OUT! "The Intimate World of Abraham Lincoln" by C.A. Tripp offers up evidence that Abie Baby was Gay-bie Baby!

Our birthdays are close to each other and since grade school I have felt a closeness to President Lincoln. I always assumed it was our coinciding births but apparently there are more commonalities that imagined. Well, I don't have a beard. I don't wear a tall hat nor have I been President. I'm not alive in the 1860's and the chances of my being shot to death while enjoying the Theatre are slim.

So really the similarities are birthdates and the fact that we both like boys. Coincidence? I think not.

Elevator Door Opens...

2004-12-21T18:19:00.000-05:00

... on the 7th floor of Deutsche Bank and the sign reads:

"Department of Ass Man ement"

Ass Man. Genius. You'd think someone would change the sign. Ass Man.

Fashion Disaster

2004-12-16T07:29:00.000-05:00

I'm wearing dress pants with PLEATS today. I know, I KNOW! I'm poor ass and the last time I had to wear dress pants, flat front was not an option. Not working or having any income for six weeks has pushed me to this... PLEATS!

Now, I am sure noone in the office I'm in even notices as they are not those kind of people. But there is this part of me that thinks each time I walk by someone, they are snickering at my pants. PLEATS, egads. Cursed pleats, why are you in my closet? Calgon take me away. Did Calgon ever really take anyone away? If it did, I've got a wish list of people Calgon can remove:
- Hillary Duff
- Mariah Carey
- Britney Spears
- Ashton Kutcher
- One of the VP's from my old company
- All kids on the subway
- Window washers and flower sellers at stop lights
- and some band called Big & Rich

Tanget much?

Quiet Much?

2004-12-16T07:22:00.000-05:00

So I am working a temp job at Deutshe Bank downtown and the floor I am on is basically deserted. There is enough space and cubicle for a couple hundred people but there are only about 20 occupants. These facts have nothing to do with my entry...

Across the way from my desk are two televsions that i have total view of, which sounds great, right? This would normally mean GOLD to me but there are a couple issues:
- One is tuned to Bloomberg's channel and the other some random business channel. Damn them! There are charts and graphs and scrolling numbers all day, its like Romper Room for adults. Who knew television could be so worthless and unentertaining to me?
- No sound! Not even Closed Captioned. Do the people (all hree of them) in that section have dog like hearing and the televisions are ommitting sound waves at a frequency only they can hear? Turn it up! We're not all pre-cogs.
- I know Regis & Kelly are on right now, can a brotha watch? Damn.

The Black Maria

2004-12-10T11:18:00.000-05:00

The Black Maria
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

Oh Kyle from Grade, it's you! It's really you! I've heard a couple tracks from the upcoming debut album by The Black Maria and it's amazing. Victory Records has been a powerhouse this year with some amazing music. This is the first time in a decade that I've been so into Victory bands.

Check out the new album, "Lead Us To Reason" when it comes out at the end of January!

No Desktop Like a SNO Desktop

2004-12-10T11:01:00.000-05:00

I love Mac's, really I do. About as much as I love Sesame Tofu. There is a desktop application called SNO that has big pretty animated like a Rank & Bass special snowflakes that float on your screen. You can change the size, the number of flakes per second, the wind direction and speed not to mention their tranparency. Mac's are Sno cool!

Charlie And The Chocolate Factory (click here)

2004-12-10T08:51:00.000-05:00

Charlie And The Chocolate Factory (click here)
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

If you have not seen the trailer for Tim Burton's "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" please follow this "link".

"Chewing gum is really gross. Chewing gum I hate the most!"

I cannot wait!