Get That Seat!

The subway trains on the Orange Line (like those on the Red and Blue as well) have seats that line the dirty walls of the car. These seats have enough scooped padding to seat the average ballet class of anorexics not average humans. Given their limited allotment of ass size on any given day, these seats are pushed to their max in the winter when normal sized human beings get on the train in their bulky winter wear. Realistically there is no way to actually seat lets say 4 people in a row, it just doesn’t work. Three is fine because each person can let a partial cheek ride the metal leaving the narrowest of open space or the equivalent of a half seat.
Picture this… every time I am on the train a woman (and honestly it’s only women) will push and pull as she darts for that half space. Almost never saying “excuse me” she wedges her fat middle American white tennis shoe wearing self into that half seat disrupting the seating arrangement that has been agreed upon for the last three stops. Inevitably fat middle American bitchface gets off at the next stop. Her cankles couldn’t handle a :30 second ride to the next fucking stop? I hate these women. Stand, it won’t kill you. We all work all day. We all just got up an hour ago and haven’t had tea. We all would love a seat, but sometimes its just not in the cards you doucebag.