Apples & Oranges

Apples & Oranges
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

Friday night I found out that "they" are now making bags of individually wrapped Apple Slices in grocery stores. Because biting into or cutting an apple is so taxing. I'm sure that the plastic is as impossible to open as the chip bag so maybe the theory behind the individually wrapped Apple Slices is that you burn more calories than eating a whole apple? Who can tell. The point is I thought it one of the most assinine things until this afternoon.

I brought a Florida Navel Orange to work and it dawned on me. The reason I don't eat more oranges is that they are such a worriesome fruit to consume. That tough exterior peel is not easy to remove. I mean they make instruments in kitchen stores to assist, if you need assistance in eating a fruit its not worth it to me. I've taken to scoring the orange with a plastic knife or the non-scoopy end of a plastic spoon and peeling from there. It seems to help but then comes my next beef with said citrus. The little brand name label always runs and stains your fingers because the ink they use is soooo not waterproof. Now, I've used an instrument and I now have stained fingers... who's been in the cookie jar? So fine, instrument - leaky label... Why must an orange squirt? On the desk, the wall, your shirt and if you're lucky... your eye!

Bio-wash the eye, get your silkwood shower and its on to eating the 20 minute orange. I think Rachel Ray should have a show on this. 30 minute snack: Today's episode, the orange. The fucker's peeled! Rejoice... oh not so fast. What the hell is that next layer of crap? I thought I peeled this bitch? It's like a mucus membrane or something and it's as easy to get off as a 90 year old hooker.

Am I alone here? I now praise the maker of the Apple Slice and I shall never judge as if they come out with the individually wrapped Orange Slices, I'm sold.