wait, what? just blog

I know, I know... I bitch. But what else are these things good for? Enjoy following my near panic attacks, threats of bodily harm on the public and just general rants on every and anything.

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Death Cab for Cutie - Plans


I'll admit that I resisted the Death Cab taxi ride until a couple years ago. Though they've been around since 1997, they were always the it of it bands that I just never hailed and got into. Then one day I actually sat down and listened... wow, what a fucking idiot I was! DCFC is possibly one of the smartest and most emotionally in tune emo bands out there. They're mix of classic emo with progressive electonica type backbeats really sets them apart from the rest. Not to metion Ben is half responsible for The Postal Service which was easily my favorite album in the last two years.

The first single "Soul Meets Body" has a chorus that is straight out of Sunny Day Real Estate's plot of land. Ben's voice actually reaches Enigk proportions at times and if DCFC wants to play it that way, I'm even more into it as Sunny Day will always have a space in my heart.

Damn these kids are good.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Coolidge Update

It is unbelievable how insanely bitchy some people can be. I’m not talking about the rude old ladies or the obnoxious rich bitch teens, I’m talking about the monster that is Jillian, Manager from Hell. Kidding. She wanted me to write more about the theatre on here but really I’ve nothing shocking or funny to say. Oh other than one of the girls sits like a baseball player on the bench whilst wearing skirts allowing the whole world to see her religion. Nice.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Why Not Another AIDS Ride?


For three years I participated in numerous AIDS Rides and raised a good amount of money and hopefully awareness. This summer I chose to take a break from the cycling madness butt numbathon for a number of reasons.

Reason #1: As I was out of work for the end of 2004 it was hard to make a commitment to raising money for another ride when I couldn’t even pay my rent. As my financial status was up in the air I didn’t really think it would be a wise choice or one I could support to go around begging for donations again this summer when trying to survive on my good looks was running thin. In the past I’ve received excellent sponsorship and generosity from my family, friends, and coworkers. As the coworker portion was my most lucrative and that was now eliminated from the equation, I didn’t really feel confident that raising a couple thousand dollars without that base was feasible or worth my efforts as my enthusiasm for the Mass Red Ribbon Ride was dying.

Reason #2: When the details of the third annual Mass Red Ribbon Ride were announced, they had shortened the ride to a two day event and limited the miles considerably. One of the reasons I loved doing these rides was the challenge they presented me every year. It’s a good 6 month commitment of training properly and sufficiently to tackle those damn Western Mass Mountains and winding roads. Doing three days of non-stop riding is grueling and a challenge both mentally and physically. Each year I felt I trained better and harder because the rides were a little bit easier and I felt healthier at the end of each day. It was really hard for me to push myself to these extremes but I loved the challenge of it. With 2005 being the shortest yet it really presented no challenge to me and my interest faded.

My original goal was to join the Montreal to Boston ride that is also in August. My friend and fellow rider Brad had done this ride for two years and loved it. The 5 day ride of extreme hills and miles was what I needed to push me to new heights and I was ready! That was until I came to the realization that come the new year I was only temping and the prospect of a real job was slim to none before spring or summer so taking over a week off for a charity event didn’t seem like a wise choice. I had to bow out and it saddens me still to this day.

Reason #3: I applied to work as the Outreach Coordinator for the Mass Red Ribbon Ride because Robbie was eliminated when AIDS Action chose to combine positions and his interest in said new position was not so high. Obviously I did not get the job. I don’t think it was because of my abilities or my background because I obviously had demonstrated my dedication to the cause and to AIDS Action in the past. On top of the rides, I was a team leader and organizer for the Walk 5 years running – I was like the AIDS Action poster child. Regardless, they chose someone with more of a diverse background. Excellent reason considering they wanted a face of color to be out there reaching the affected cultures to gain support, my pasty white face is far from identifiable as “of color” so I totally understood but have to say I disagreed with the decision and quickly saw the misguided direction of the ride.

Reason #4: The Mass Red Ribbon Ride began targeting the wrong communities. I understand that their goal is to raise awareness around and to recruit within the affected cultures but unfortunately the money and sponsorship is not within those regions and money is what will make this ride succeed. The MR3 has barely grown in the three years since its inception. As of last count they were under 200 riders for 2005 which is insanely low for a ride in its junior year. Easily this ride should have pulled in 500 riders by now but I firmly believe that the “management” of the ride is incompetent and too focused on their representation within minority communities instead of on fundraising which is where the real power lies. AIDS Action needed to step back from its mission and goal as a company (cultural awareness and disease prevention) and allow the ride to focus on sponsorship, fundraising, and the community that was already invested in the cause. The gays love a good cause and they love to rally behind something affecting their people. There is a lot of money and passion in the gay community and the Mass Red Ribbon Ride has all but ignored them in recent years.

A couple hundred rideless riders rallied around AIDS Action in 2002 as the fallout from Pallotta left a gap in AIDS related charity rides. It seemed like a match made in heaven as AIDS Action was already synonymous with the Boston AIDS Walk, a multi-thousands participant event with big corporate sponsorship and dedication. How could it fail? They brought in past Pallotta riders (myself included) to help brainstorm and create their first multi-day ride (The AIDS Action Ride) to moderate success.

Year two they changed the name to the Mass Red Ribbon Ride and collaborated with numerous AIDS organizations across the state to help spread awareness and absorb the cost of putting on the event. I volunteered on committees and at bike shows, I trained like crazy and raised even more money than I had in the past- everything seemed on target to be bigger and better than the year before. As the ride neared, it was apparent that the ride had already taken a different direction.

AIDS Action seemed more hands off than ever and their contribution to the ride financially seemed to falter as well. I understood that they were going for a grassroots event that relied on collaboration and community involvement but somehow this ride was already being overshadowed by the new Harbor to the Bay ride being put on in part by Fenway Community Health Center and with heavy backing by Club Café (a huge gay club and institution in Boston). Their advertisements were sleek, slick, and plentiful. Their website was well designed and interactive. They already had some incredible sponsorship and they were in every media outlet in town. Their ride was getting all the press while I felt our ride was barely keeping its head above water and this was our second year.

Where were all the riders that once defected from Pallotta and vowed to make this ride a success? Sure there were plenty of us still in the mix but at a measly 125 riders, many of them were obviously moving on to other events. This angered me because I love AIDS Action and the people they employ and had personally given my all to promote and fundraise for this event.

As the ride began it was apparent that the sense of community had waned and that the new staff was just not on game like the year before. I don’t know if it was just a case of the sophomore slump or there were bigger problems at hand. I know that personally I didn’t feel as appreciated or as taken care of by the new ride manager, Andi. She has a very harsh and abrasive way about her that put a lot of riders off. At recruitment and informational events she would create this almost hippish prayer circle environment of sharing that not everyone was into. She just rubbed people the wrong way and her public speaking skills and ability to cause hysteria and excitement within the group just weren’t working.

As the ride commenced moral was all over the map. People were getting hurt, people were getting lost, people didn’t feel appreciated or welcome. By weekends end, she was one of the most talked about topics, almost more so than the heavy rain and winds that had plagued the ride since Day 1. I on numerous occasions had told her to ensure that the vegetarians were taken care of and she didn’t which resulted in a no lunch scenario two days in a row for us vegetarians. I don’t know about you, but if I’m riding a hundred miles a day, I tend to need some form of sustenance and nourishment, that usually comes from lunch. I’m just saying… She also ran around like a tyrant at night while at the camps as she would bark orders and mother everyone so much that they didn’t feel comfortable or able to freely enjoy the experience as the adults we are. Luckily there was Robbie to deflect her standoff persona. Robbie is an incredibly passionate man that really put his all into the first ride and in the second year seemed pushed back to allow for Andi’s new regime. Too bad Robbie already had a fan base.

The ride ended early because of hurricane like conditions that passed through the area which pushed the final nail into the coffin of MR3. Many seasoned riders wanted to wait out the storm and finish the ride like intended but ride organizers couldn’t comply. I understand the liability involved and understood their decision to cancel Day 3 but it really did sour the mood of the event further. A make up date was scheduled and went off with mediocre success (only 20 riders showed). A third year seemed unlikely in September but was eventually greenlit.

I had always planned on sticking it out another year but the aforementioned issues really forced me to reconsider. Even after I interviewed with Andi I wanted to help the ride flourish and grow into a bigger event. I eventually lost all interest in their mission. Of my group (which consisted of pimps and ho’s last year), only one rider signed up. I can’t state that the rides mismanagement is to blame for everyone, but it is for me. The new direction and shortened route just really didn’t appeal to me and that’s distressing because this was a ride I helped craft to some degree. It had the potential to be huge and because I don’t work at AIDS Action and I wasn’t there when negotiations were originally underway with Fenway Community Health I can’t say why it’s not bigger and better than it is. It could be budgetary issues, it could be management issues, or it could be that there are too many competing events. AIDS Action has a huge following and volunteer network not to mention they are the standard in AIDS awareness in Massachusetts yet the ride lacks the backing to promote like it needs to and to target where the fundraising will benefit most… the gay men of Boston.

As long as Harbor to the Bay can promise 100% of the funds raised to charity MR3 does not stand a chance. That’s a huge turn off for riders and contributors. Why should someone donate to MR3 knowing a portion of the funds goes to putting on the event when in the same town another ride is promising 100% to charity? The accountability isn’t there and the backing of the gay community just isn’t with MR3. This should have been the driving force for them this year; ensure the gay community stands behind the ride and that the seasoned riders return at any cost because that is what will allow this ride to grow and thrive! There is no reason that the corporate sponsors of AIDS Action couldn’t rally behind the ride to ensure no cost is put upon the riders or the donations raised. Competing rides is just ridiculous in a town the size of Boston. I believe next year there will only be one ride that survives and I have a feeling it will not be the Mass Red Ribbon Ride (though I hope I’m proven wrong because my heart and soul went into creating and promoting their event and I want to see them succeed).

Spiders, Skunks, and Stars Oh My

Jon and I spent the weekend in the very green and very hilly state of Vermont for the wedding of our friends John and Jenn. I’d never been to Vermont before which seemed to shock people somewhat. I don’t know why; just because its part of New England doesn’t mean that I have to go there, right? I don’t ski and I don’t camp so what does VT have to offer me? And I’m talking dirt roads Vermont, like almost in Canada Vermont. Road signs switched from towns to countries where we were… Burlington 40, Canada 54. It’s a shock to the system.

What I will say about Vermont is that it is a very lush and foliage heavy state. It’s green as far as the eye can see. It’s really an untapped region which is shocking but refreshing. Just as you start yearning for a Starbucks or a sky scraper you realize how amazing it is that there is so much open and untouched land. The Eco-friendly in me kicks in and suddenly I’m willing to chain myself to a tree and stare down the evil men and machines of deforestation and development. What? Paul Bunyan much?

I forgot the reason I started this entry. Oh yeah, within two hours of being there we saw a skunk walk by us to which Jon and I ran like school girls and then a spider the size of an elephants foot which left me with an unsettling feeling. Nature is scary – plain and simple. But because we were so far removed from any city dwellings or even habitable land when darkness fell it was a pitch black night with more stars than I’ve ever experienced. Layer upon layers of millions of stars, it was quite remarkable to see. I also had the luck of seeing 3 shooting stars in our two nights stay in Vermont which as stupid as it sounds really makes you realize there’s a whole world we miss living in the city – bugs and all.

Potter Withdrawl

For real I’m in like Hogwarts Depression, someone call Madame Pomfrey STAT! Since finishing the sixth book, I’ve not really wanted to leave that world and I’m hesitant to pick up another read. I think I am going to head out today at lunch and buy Book 4 and start from there, rereading 4-6 to sustain my Potter fix.

Book 4 is really where the story goes into Maximum Overdrive and you notice that the homeless woman gone gold really may be on to something. From the Tri-Wizard Tournament to death and eventually romance, the story just became more serious and dangerous in tone. Book 4 proved that she is willing to go over the edge and tackle the dark recesses of the Potter world and to not worry about scaring or alienating any of the wholesome and itty bitty readers. Book 4 is like a friggin tome with its hefty page count and plot development. After finishing Book 6 you realize how important Book 4 was in the whole lineage and I still think it may be my favorite so far.

I-MUST-GO-BACK-TO-HOGWARTS – DAMN YOU VOLDEMORT!

Friday, August 05, 2005

I'm Soooo Mrs. Kravitz...


Not kidding, I couldn’t be the nosier neighbor right now. I’ve got nothing on Sandra Gould from “Bewitched” but god almighty I’m coming close to Mrs. Poole territory up here in the South End.

We have two basement apartments in our building. One is handicap accessible and the other a regular studio apartment. Can I just tell you that since they’ve built the handicrapper studio not one handicapped individual has lived there but that’s besides the point.

About 2 weeks ago I went through the basement to go out the back door. Noone really goes out the basement door unless they’ve parked on the street behind or they feel like running up and down the handi-ramp that was installed – you know… for fun. As I walk down the stairs I notice that the front apartment’s door is ajar – not wide open, but ajar. I figure the girl that lives down there must have run out to her car or whatever. Nothing big.

I come home that night, the door is still in the ajar position. Huh. I continue on upstairs. About 2 days later I head back down and the friggin’ door is still sitting there ajar. I begin to wonder if she moved, you never know. I leave.

About 3 days later I come into the building through the basement and as I am walking up notice that the door is now like halfway open and I can see a bed and a desk and assorted furnishings. What the hell is going on down here?

I knock on the door. No answer. I knock again. Nothing.

Now I’ve seen so many “Cold Case”, “CSI”, “L&O” episodes to know I am chartering in dangerous water but I press forward… on the door. No body by the bed, phew! “Hello?” I call out. No answer. I look around for evidence of broken or stolen items. There’s no unusually empty while portion of the rug where a tv maybe once was, nor is there a dusty rectangle on the wall from wence a frame once lived. Nothing seems awry. I shut to door with my sleeve covering my hand as to leave no fingerprints. Hey, if there is a dead corpse under the bed or in the tub I’m not gonna be linked to it. Hell to the No!

I head on over to the Management Company for our building. I tell Kelly the lazy eyed and unfortunate of teeth agent that covers our building my snooping story. She agrees to send someone over.

That night when I get home from the hospital I notice that the door is shut! Victory.

Jump forward two days and I go to leave out the basement door and notice that the damn door is once again ajar. What is going on? There are no marks on the door, no sign of forced entry. I knock. Nothing. I leave for the day, I gots no time for these cat and mouse games.

I come home that night, that stupid door is half open again. Do we have squatters? Is Gay Ricky in there with a homeless Juliana Hatfield? Did someone just steal Angela Chase’s boots? What the what-is-going-on-already?

I completely forget about it until the next day when I notice that the door is shut again. I know there’s no wind in that basement and to my knowledge rats do not have opposable thumbs but whatever – it’s closed. What is that god awful stench down here?

Two days later… Jon just calls and tells me that the door is open again. He went down to move the car before the street sweepers came and noticed that the door was once again ajar. Oh he did more than knock; he went in and walked around! I hope he had plastic booties on over the soles of his shoes – I know what Marg Helgenberger can do…

There was no dead blonde girl rotting under the dust ruffle – as far as he could tell. But damn, that smell was getting stronger and stronger – you could smell it on the second floor.

Oh Mrs. Kravitz is on it! I called up layz eyes and told her about the door again. I prefaced the convo with… “I don’t want to sound like the crazy snoopin’ neighbor and I know this is not 227 but that fucking door is wide open again! Did you ever send someone over? Did you ever call the girl that lives there? Did you hear anything? What’s the contingency plan for dead coeds in your apartments?”

After a minute or two of baffled silence a sound comes from behind those broken fence like teeth! “Oh I’m going to kill those rental agents…” Mystery solved folks – the stupid ass rental agents are showing that stinky cesspool smellin’ basement apartment and just leaving without shutting or locking that door. Lazy Eyed Picket Fence was pissed and swore to get to the bottom of it.

Let me get this straight, for almost 3 weeks this poor girl has been away on vacation and for most of those 3 weeks her apartment has been wide open for the world to see and pillage? It’s not beyond me to head on down there once she returns and fill her in (Ms. Huber style) on what went down. If any of her shit is missing, its lawsuit city! I loves it. And who in their right mind would rent that place with the smell of rotting flesh lingering. Are we sure that chicks on holiday?