Matt Bavaro "man on da streetz" - Report #1

mattbavaro-manondastreetz
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

So, I've solicited the help of my wannabe socialite friend Matt to give us the hip and happenings in NYC as he seems to be getting invited to more and more events. Here is his first report for all our enjoyment...
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So, the other night my friend invites me to the premiere of the new Katie Holmes snoozefest, “First Daughter”. Well, I didn’t know it would be a snoozefest beforehand, but it turns out I was right, and it was. I literally fell asleep, but that’s beside the point. ANYWAY, had no idea, but it turned out to be the actual NY PREMIERE of the movie, so I got to walk the red carpet and all of that. Of course, no one took my picture. Yet.

So we go inside and take our seats, and make sure we’re in prime stretching/looking behind us at Katie Holmes & Chris Klein position. She’s there. She’s gorgeous. She’s like 6 feet tall, and really does only talk out one side of her mouth (I thought it might just be something she created for Joey Potter, but she does it in real life). Chris Klein looks like a hobbit. Like, the FUGLIEST green suit (I think it was some sort of crushed velvet), and a really bad haircut. I’d say he has it for a movie role, maybe, but I’m not sure he’s a working anymore since the American Pie trifecta has completed. So, Marc Blucas was there too, but we’ll get to that later. Anyway, as we were leaving the theater, my friend took her time so that we would walk out right in front of Katie & Chris (me, specifically), so I basically held the door for them and that’s when I got my picture taken.

Then, we had invites to the afterparty, at this place called Marquee. Walked another red carpet. Turns out the amazonian Nikki/Paris clones sitting behind me were Miss Universe and Miss USA. Had no idea, and don’t even know their names. As I’m getting a drink for my friend, this little blond girl comes walking past me, while this huge black man starts faux-dancing with 4 other girls. Turns out it was Hilary Duff and her bodyguard. Who knew? I didn’t, which is why I almost body-checked her. If I’d have known, I would’ve TOTALLY body-checked her.

Saw Drew Lachey sitting in the corner with his wife – no one was really talking to them. I felt bad. Too bad his hot business older bro wasn’t there. Jai Rodriguez was there in a cute argyle sweater, and tons of hags. He was dancing, and acting really cute, although make up does wonders to the boy. He’s also about 6 inches shorter than I thought he’d be. Walked upstairs and saw Katie & Chris sitting in a booth with her parents and her agent I think. I couldn’t tell behind the 4 bodyguards, but they were chatting and laughing, and she really is gorgeous.

But my sights were set on Riley Finn – I mean Marc Blucas – who was just hanging out with the crowd and having a great time. My friend “accidentally” bumped into him, and apologized. And he was like “Whatever, don’t worry about it – it’s hard to even stand in here let alone walk” or something nice-guyish, and that was my opening. I introduced myself and told him what a huge Buffy fan I was. And he was like “me too!” and then started talking to me about working on Buffy. Said it was the best experience – he got to run around and play army man all day in this make believe land, and that the cast and crew were just the absolute best to work with. He said he didn’t love his first season on the show, but only because he didn’t do much. We talked for about 5 minutes and then I congratulated him on “First Daughter” – I mean, he’s fine in it, can’t blame him for the shitty script. Besides, you see him shirtless, which is Oscar worthy in my book. And he shook my hand and thanked me for supporting his work. REALLY nice guy, and totally affable.

So, we left. I did what I wanted to do. As we’re leaving, Jenna M., Ethan, Brennan (TAR 1), Johnny Fairplay and Rob Cesternino are all coming in. D’oh! So mad! Oh well … there’s always next TARCon.

Hopefully, I’ll write you another one of these on Friday. I’m going to a GLAAD party with Cynthia Nixon, Paige Davis, Alan Cumming, and Joan f’ing Rivers! Can you believe it? I’m DYING.

Jimmy Eat World - Futures

So, I have an advanced copy of Futures, the new album by Jimmy Eat World. It's great to see them back after such a long hiatus (last album, Bleed American, came out in 2001). It's electric, it's energy, it's emo... it's epic. I love it. There are some great tunes here, with some incredible writing. Here are my favs: 23, Kill, Pain, Drugs or Me, Work, Polaris

When it comes out in a couple weeks, please go get it. And there is some major word play with "drugs" on the album, so someone was hurt bad by a loved on that was either on real drugs or medicinal drugs...

Degrassi: 35,32,30,14,14,14,13,13,12...

"Jay & Alex" from Degrassi
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

That's the age breakdown of the average person attending The N's Degrassi Mall Tour this past Saturday. There was Jon (35), Lil Jenn (32), myself (30) and about 2000 tween and pre-tweens gathered to gawk and lather in Degrassi Mania! For weeks now, we've been geaering up for the stars of Degrassi descending on the Natick Mall. The day before the meet and greet, we realized that the "stars" were not really the "STARS" of Degrassi, but two secondary characters, Jay and Alex. Jay is a scummy no good loser that has been bringing Sean down week after week as they steal and continue to be ugly. Alex is a bitchy semi-scumbag that Emma (oh glorious Emma, why couldnt it have been you at the Mall) kneed in the face last season before slamming her into the lockers face first. She is an evil little girl that will apparently play a larger role this coming season (which kicks off Oct. 1). Case in point, behold how she speaks to Marco (one of Degrassi's resident homos): "Hey gay kid!"
Yeah, she's not the nicest. I will tell you this though, both she and he looked much better in person. He is about a foot shorter than I thought and cleans up really well. She is hot business. I am talking, needs to be a central character because she is too hot not to be... HOT! Here is a pic.

It's 12:24pm, Do You Know What I am Listening To?

One Step Closer – Linkin Park
When Chester is screaming “SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP When I am Talking to You” over and over with such aggression and anger, I’ll have to admit that I get hot. (Cue Nicole Ritchie: “That’s Hot”) It’s so sexy and passionate that it’s hot in that primal you’re a teenager again, “yeah you can cut me with that shard of glass and lick the blood off me” kinda way. Right? “That’s Hot!”

If Jimmy Swaggart looks at me, I'm gonna kill him!

In a statement this week, moral-less evangalist Jimmy Swaggart had this to say about my kind...
"I've never seen a man in my life I wanted to marry. And I'm gonna be blunt and plain: if one ever looks at me like that, I'm gonna kill him and tell God he died."

He now has apologized saying that if he offended someone he didnt realize. Are you kidding me? You tell a whole christian congregation its okay to kill gays and you dont find that offensive? "If it’s an insult, I certainly didn’t think it was..."

To read his whole statement, please go here.

To email the Swaggart ministry well wishes (or not) here is the address: info@jsm.org (wait, does that say jizm.org?)

Aunt Maureen's Fundraiser

So, Jon and I headed to the 'cuse this past weekend to attend and help out with a fundraiser for my Aunt Mo that has been living with Hodgkins Lymphoma since 1999. She is an amazing woman with the best sense of humor and determination. She is having a hard time right now and they are financially strapped as treatments and hospital stays are expensive. Her family is incredibly strong.
My stepmother organized this benefit. Long story short, I spoke to my dad Monday and he said that they are projecting $20,000 raised for my aunt and her family. That is amazing. There were hundreds of folks at this event and it was a beautiful (if not chilly) day.

(*scream)

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

fuck

Sybil Much?

I swear people at my office must think that I am a damn psychotic as I walk around day to day, even hour to hour with a different look and attitude on my face. Most days I look like an unapproachable bitch with a scowl not seen since Michelle Rodriguez in her only worthwhile role in Girlfight. At times, its been to the point where my boss has asked me if I am okay which only pisses me off more and I just give a sarcastic smile. "Yup" or ocassionally I am honest and say, "I'm not in a good mood." Normally I am a fun, entertaining person that loves talking to people but I despise so much about my worklife that at times all I can do is sit and stew and not talk to anyone for days on end because I will scream and pull someone's hair out.

I've really become a shell of my former self because I am so unhappy with my daily 9-5 life. There is no way this is my life. Jon can probably tell you that I am a joy to live with lately. Mood swings, mild depression... great personality traits in a relationship. Life must change.

Theme Song of the Day!

"I'm Only Happy When It Rains" - garbage
Not only is it a sexy ass tune that I've been in love with for almost a decade, it speaks to my mood this moment. Let it pour.

What Year Is It Inside My iPod?

Late 80's, early 90's is my best guess today as that is all I've been listening to. It's been a flashback Thursday up here in my cube.

Sinead O'Connor
Sonic Youth
REM
Billy Bragg

Log Cabin Gays, Not Just For Getting Wood!

So today the Log Cabin Republicans announced they do not want to endorse President Bush... It's about time you queers. Read All About It!

NEW MUSIC! Kay and FSF

So, it was a good music week for me! I got the new Kay Hanley EP - Babydoll EP and the new Sensefield cd, er make that the new Further Seems Forever cd.

Kay Hanley has gone a little darker, a little deeper with this 6 track EP. She left us in Boston and moved to LA to further her career and to be with her rocker husband. She has been writing and recording and this is the outcome. I love it. But I am biased, as I love her to bits. Great disc, go get it if you can find it.

Further Seems Forever changed singers again. This time it's Jon Bunch, the mastermind behind one of my all time favorite bands, Sensefield. This album is like the best album that Sensefield could have put out instead of the last two they actually did put out. It's energetic and catchy. Jon seems to be back on top with his singing and writing stylings. I thoroughly enjoy this new disc.

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince

Two lines from the 6th installment of Potter (courtesy of jkrowling.com):

"He looked rather like an old lion. There were streaks of grey in his mane of tawny hair and his bushy eyebrows; he had keen yellowish eyes behind a pair of wire-rimmed spectacles and a certain rangy, loping grace even though he walked with a slight limp."

Jesus Christ, or the Passion there of...

So I just finished watching the David Koresh story about a bunch of people that followed and believed in a deranged man. Wait, no... I just finished watching The Passion of the Christ. Are the similiarities not there? I mean, am I wrong in thinking that cult leaders are really no different than Jesus? Think about it, its a man who thinks his shit don't stink that is arrogant enough to think that every word coming out of his mouth is gospel and people are eating it up like flies. People blindly believe in his so called powers and lineage, yet there is no proof. He tells everyone to drink of his blood after he is gone, to eat of his flesh so that he lives on. It sounds culty to me, no?
Regardless of faith or lack there of, The Passion is a very anti-climactic film don't you think? We know the ending, it's like watching Titanic. The boat sinks folks, no big mystery here? Mel Gibson, M. Night you aint. I felt the worst for the poor guy crucified next to Jesus (screen left) that got his eye pecked out by that crow. Come on, is it not bad enough that he's been crucified and is alive, then a crow's gotta take a shot. Why was everyone up in arms about blaming Jews, blame the person that didn't think to put those little metal spike's that sit on windowsills of buildings on that cross. That crow would try to land and OUCH! At least the crow would have got pricked as well. I mean, his arms are staked down for Christ's sake he couldn't shoo that bird away. "Go get Jesus, he's dying for our sins..." CAW CAW!
I just don't get the point of the film. If I wanted to watch two hours of torture, New York Minute just came out on dvd last week. I got it Mel, it was rough. It was rough. My word with the whipping. They even whipped that man that was helping Jesus carry that cross. What did he do other than help? Give a brother a break.
Oh my god, and what was with that scary bald man that was always circling? He first showed in the beginning in the "screen is blue, it must be nighttime" scene asking Jesus who his father was? That man was scary. OH! And what about that beast thing that jumped out at Judas when Jesus fell from the cliff and stopped short? That was some hell beast or something. The unexplained was killing me in this movie. What in same hell was that thing? I replayed that scene 4 times trying to figure out what it was. I think it was a ghost image like the person that hung themselve on the set of 3 Men and a Baby. Please let me know what it was and what hell mouth it climbed out of.
Jon summed it up best when one hour in, he went to bed... "This movie's not interesting."

Jimmy Eats iTunes & a RELEASE DATE!

Jimmy Eat World's new album FUTURES hits my computer on October 4th! Will it hit yours? Let's hope so. As you know, one of my favorite bands of all time, JEW are incredible and long missed. It's been 3 years since their last release, BLEED AMERICAN.

Jimmy Eat World's new single "Pain" is an exclusive on iTunes! Incredibly infectious and a bit on the depressing side! I welcome their return to the world of rock. Go get it, now!

"Pain"
I don't feel the way I've ever felt.
I know.
I'm gonna smile and not get worried.
I try but it shows.

Anyone can make what I have built.
And better now
Anyone can find the same white pills.
It takes my pain away.

[Chorus]
It's a lie. A kiss with opened eyes.
And she's not breathing back.
Anything but bother me.
(It takes my pain away)
Nevermind these are horrid times.
Oh oh oh
I can't let it bother me.

I never thought I'd walk away from you.
I did.
But it's a false sense of accomplishment.
Everytime time I quit

Anyone can see my every flaw.
It isn't hard.
Anyone can say they're above this all.
It takes my pain away.

[Chorus]

I can't let it bother me.

It takes my pain away.

[Chorus]

This Just In...

Red Sox Fans Are Idiots!
So I am watching the news this morning and there was a fluff piece about the god-damned Red Sox “Curse” (something to do with ever since Babe Ruth was traded, the Sox have never won a World Series or something like that).
Apparently on Tuesday night's game, Manny Ramirez hit a ball and it went into the left field stands and smacked some 16 year old kid in the face. It cut his lip open and busted out two teeth.
So this “news” piece was about this 16 year old and his family and how they truly, in all honesty and insanity believe that this will reverse the curse. See, said 16 year old and his family live in Babe Ruth’s old house (which I will admit is a severe coincidence). The kid said that he hopes that because he “spilled blood” in the stadium it will reverse the curse because of his family’s connection to Babe Ruth. Are you fucking crazy? It’s like watching the Branch Dividians speak, honestly...

Hillary Duff = The Devil

So I had this whole conversation with a client today about Hillary Duff. She said that she was going with her granddaughter to the Hillary Duff concert tonight in Anaheim and that she was so excited because she loves Hillary Duff. I said it sounded like sheer hell to me. So for the next 20 minutes (no joking) we debated the good v. evil of Hillary Duff.

I said she was talentless and thankless (for demanding more money from Disney). She said she’s a great actress and a good singer. I told her that I wished Hillary Duff died. She laughed and said that was not nice. I said I am more of a Amanda Bynes/Lindsay Lohan kinda guy. She said they were slutty and that Lohan got a boob job but refuses to admit it. I said I respected a tween starlet turned tart and that at least neither of them dissed their meal ticket because they thought the they were bigger than Lizzie McGuire. She said that she respected the fact that Hillary Duff in her many videos and behind the scene tapes has said publicly that she doesn’t want to wear low cut and revealing clothes so that she remains a good role model for girls everywhere. I said that was because she’s fat, flat chested, and has tree trunks for thighs.

It got ugly for a minute then we agreed to disagree. I told her I wanted my Root Beer Lip Smackers back and my friendship bracelet. We’re taking a break…